Oh I Wish She Was Here
by plumcake15
Summary: Serena Campbell returned to Holby City Hospital to fill the breach as CEO. She isn't coping with the fact the love of her life is six and a half thousand miles away in Nairobi. But one phone call changes that. In the middle of the night Bernie Wolfe returns, with the intention of never being apart from Serena, ever again. Canon Divergent
1. Chapter 1

_I've never published any Berena writing before. But after the little exchange between Serena and Fletch in Albie's this happened so thought I would post it. I'm very much looking forward to Berena being reunited on screen. But until then..._

* * *

"Oh, I wish she was here." Serena sighed into her glass of Shiraz.

"I know you do." Fletch has responded with a sympathetic smile.

In that short exchange Serena Campbell had verbalised what had been consuming her for days. Her whole body ached to be held in the arms of the woman she loved once more. To hear her voice. To feel her sweet breath on her neck. If it weren't for her responsibilities at Holby City Hospital she would have been on a plane to Nairobi in the blink of an eye. She would be running as fast as she could into the safe arms of Berenice Wolfe.

Yet that night she found herself lying alone, feeling like she was being swallowed up by the enormity of her bed. Before Bernie she hadn't ever thought her bed to be too big for one, she had enjoyed its size and her ability to be able to stretch out within it to ease her aching muscles. She'd even found those first few weeks of sharing her bed particularly difficult for every time she moved her limbs would encounter those of her blonde companion. That had soon passed though, and she then revelled in the feeling, the pair quickly settling into a routine of sleeping entwined together.

Lifting her phone once again from the bedside table her eyes focused on the image of her beautiful Bernie staring back at her. She'd taken this photo when the pair had been together at Christmas. A candid shot of Bernie stood staring out into the night, a cup of coffee cradled in her hands. Serena remembered the evening so well. They'd been out for a walk together at sunset, only to get caught in a torrential downpour. On returning to the cottage Bernie had insisted on Serena showering to warm up whilst she made them coffee. When she'd emerged from the shower this was the sight that had greeted her. Her macho army medic. She was stood in only a crisp white shirt, giving Serena a perfect view of her long, toned legs. Serena lost herself in a day dream as she relieved that night.

Snapping back to the present the ever so familiar feelings of emptiness and loneliness crept back in. Dialling Bernie's number Serena felt tears prick in her eyes as the phone went once again to voicemail. It was the sixth time that evening she'd called to be met with no answer. Before she could stop it, she felt tears take over her body. Dropping her phone to her side she curled into herself, her arms wrapping around stomach as the sobs took over.

-x-

The incessant ringing of the telephone finally roused Serena from her restless slumber, patting around on the bed beside her she found the offending article and answered it. Her eyes yet to focus enough to know who was going to be on the other end of the line.

"Hello." She said, her voice laced with sleep.

"Serena?" a familiar voice questioned.

"Bernie…" she breathed out. Her free hand clasping to her chest as the sound of her partners voice filled her with love.

"Thank goodness. Are you okay? What's happened?" A panicked tone was evident in her voice as she spoke.

"Yes, yes I'm fine. Darling, are you okay?" Serena had picked up the panic on Bernie's voice. She moved herself, so she was in a sitting position, stopping her from being consumed by sleep once more.

"You're fine…" She released a breath she didn't even realise she'd been holding. "I've been so worried. Several missed calls and 10-minute voicemail of you sobbing… oh Serena I was so worried."

"I didn't leave you a…" she trailed off as she remembered being overcome with tears the night before. "I'm sorry. I'm just missing you terribly. I needed to hear your voice." Tears pricked the corners of Serena's eyes once more, her heart hurting that she couldn't wrap her arms around Bernie and hold her close.

"I'm missing you terribly too."

"Last night, it hit me just how empty I feel without you here. I was ready to chuck it all in and run." She heard Bernie laugh at the other end of the line.

"I'm the one who does the running in this relationship fraulein." Bernie's lips curled into a smile as she heard the laughter from Serena at the other end of the line.

"I was going to run in your direction Ms Wolfe." Bernie sighed.

"And as lovely as that would be, both you and I know that right now Holby City Hospital needs you more than I do."

"I wish that it didn't." Serena felt her shoulders sink. She had come to the same conclusion herself last night, but some how if Bernie had said come she would have done without a second thought for anything else.

"So do I… so do I." Looking around herself Bernie sighed sadly. "I've got to go darling."

"Do you have to?" Serena said, trying not to sound like a petulant child, but at the same time not wanting the conversation to ever end.

"I promise to ring you again in a few hours."

"Hmmm… please do… I love you Berenice Wolfe."

"I love you too Serena Campbell. Speak later darling." With that the call was ended, both women smiling from ear to ear. Bernie looked down at the passport and boarding pass she held in her hand, before her eyes went back up to the screens, reading the information that her flight back to Heathrow had just started to board.


	2. Chapter 2

It was nearly 9pm when Serena finally got out of theatre, a string of RTCs had seen AAU rushed off their feet and her called in to assist to clear the backlog of patients. If she was honest she was grateful for the distraction, at least being busy had meant her other thoughts had been drowned out. Making her way along the corridor towards her office her mind flooded with thoughts of Bernie. A quick calculation told her it would now be almost midnight where she was. She hoped she would still be able to speak her but knew that may now be unlikely. The moment she saw her phone her heart sank, a missed call from Bernie and a text message.

 _Tried ringing but got your voicemail. Skype tomorrow? I need to see your beautiful face. Love you. B xx_

Although the temptation to try to ring Bernie was there she read between the lines of the message and decided to simply reply via text message instead.

 _Sorry to have missed your call. I was in theatre! Shocking I know, having been tied to a desk for the past few weeks. Skype tomorrow would be perfect. It's my day off so call when you have the time. I love you. S xx_

Serena smiled to herself as the whoosh of her phone told her the message had been sent. Gathering her belongings together she started to make her way down to her car. Exhaustion from the day and her restless sleep the night before catching up with her. Once home it did not take long for Serena to be sound asleep, a pillow hugged closely to her chest for comfort, Bernie's spare hoodie wrapped tightly around her.

-x-

Shuddering against the cold, Bernie wrapped her coat tighter around herself as she stepped out from the warmth of the taxi. Hastily she paid the driver and made her way up the path towards the beautiful Victorian house before her that was shrouded in darkness. She paused to check her watch and rubbed her eyes sleepily, it may have only been 11pm in Holby, but it was 2am in Nairobi and she had been travelling for hours. Taking the final few steps to the house she reached down into her pocket, retrieving a key. It glinted in the moonlight as she quietly slipped it into the lock.

Upon entering the hall Bernie allowed herself to absorb the familiar scents and sights for a moment. It had been almost 6 months since she had been here, and even longer since she was in the house at the same time as Serena. In the darkness she could make out a new framed photograph of the two of them sat on the telephone table. The image of the two of them sun kissed and in love sat together in a vineyard in the south of France. Carefully she placed her bag down by the door, shrugging off her coat at the same time as she discarded her shoes. All the while trying her hardest not to make a sound.

Creeping slowly towards the stairs she began the ascent, missing out the third step, knowing it would creek. She knew the house like the back of her own hand. She knew where every loose floorboard was, and she was able to dodge them with expert skill. Not wanting a creek to give away her presence. The whole flight Bernie had wracked her brains trying to find the perfect way to greet Serena. She'd finally settled on sneaking in once she realised it would be late when she got here. She knew it was the riskier plan, after all she might be mistaken for an intruder, but she knew Serena well enough to know she didn't keep weapons in the house.

When she reached Serena's door, Bernie set her hand upon the handle, carefully pushing it down and opening the door. Stepping inside she drank in the sight of Serena curled into the duvet, a pillow held tightly to her as she slept. Bernie took a few moments to enjoy the view, her hands lifting to her chest as she felt her love for Serena pulse through her body. The weight of longing to be in the same place as the woman she loved finally lifting from her shoulders.

After a few moments she padded softly over to the bed. Slipping herself down onto it beside Serena. She was careful not to make any abrupt movements, and she stilled as the brunette moved, curling herself more into the pillow. Bernie lifted her hand and gently started to stroke Serena's hair leaning down to place a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She waited a few moments before whispering quietly. "Serena… wake up my darling…" her years of being a surgeon had taught her the best ways to rouse someone from a peaceful slumber, whispering as if they were a child worked like a charm. "Wakey, wakey." In her sleepy haze Serena assumed it was Jason and started mumbling about waiting until morning. Raising her voice, Bernie continued "It isn't Jason darling, it's me." Bernie had a broad smile across her lips as Serena twisted her head towards the noise, her eyes blinking open.

"Bernie?" her face held an expression of disbelief as she reached out to touch Bernie. Unsure if in a sleepy haze she was a figment of her imagination.

"Hello beautiful." She replied, leaning down to catch her lover's lips against her own.

"You're here." Serena's eyes started to fill with tears as she pulled her down into a hug. "You're really here."

"Shhh don't cry." She moved herself to cup Serena's face, wiping away her tears with the pads of her thumbs. "I came as soon as I could. I couldn't stay away once I knew you were upset… I didn't know the reason when I started running. I just knew I had to be here. With you… where I belong." Serena couldn't formulate words, she was too overwhelmed by Bernie's presence, shaking her head and pulling her even tighter to her body.

"I love you so much Bernie Wolfe." She said eventually between kisses which Bernie responded to, shifting the two of them so they were laid together on the bed.

"And I love you." She swept a stray piece of Serena's hair back from her face and smiled. "You've kept the natural look." Even in the moonlight Bernie could still make out the silver wisps through Serena's hair. She felt her cheeks flush a deep red and she buried her face into Bernie's chest. The reason for her new-found hair colouring being Bernie's declaration that she found her even more irresistible with it. "Did you keep it for me?" The nodding against her chest caused Bernie to purr in Serena's ear, before nibbling at her neck. Serena's breath caught in her chest as she found the sensitive spot just below her ear. Kissing her way back up to her lips Bernie grinned against Serena's lips. "I've missed you." She stifled a yawn as she continued to hold her lover close. "Sorry… long day."

"Mmm… you must be exhausted from travelling." Bernie nodded, rubbing her nose against Serena's. "Let's get some rest." She snuggled closer to her, wrapping her arm tightly across her chest and letting her leg fall lazily over Bernie's. Her eyes fluttered shut, before pinging open again as she reached up to kiss Bernie once more. "I've missed you too." No more words were needed as the pair fell contently into slumber. Both women content in the arms of their one true love.


	3. Chapter 3

Light began to creep through the slight gap in the curtains as Bernie started to rouse from her peaceful slumber. Rolling her head back into the softness of the pillows she sighed happily as an oh so familiar weight lay across her body. Slowly she began to blink her eyes open, taking in the sleeping form of Serena once more, her fingers lazily beginning to draw patterns on the shallow of her back as she slept.

Serena curled further into Bernie's side, nuzzling her face against her chest as she started to wake. Suddenly startled by the unfamiliar presence in her bed Serena sat up with a start, her eyes pinging open. "What?" she almost shouted before flushing red as she remembered it was Bernie beside her.

"Hey… are you okay?" came a voice laced with concern, as fingers started to stroke her hair soothingly.

"Mmm…" she settled back down, snuggling tighter into her lover's side. "For a moment I forgot you were back." Bernie was unable to remove the smile from her lips as she made circular motions on her back, eliciting mumbles of pleasure from Serena.

"You silly thing. Although it was late when I got here… and you were very sleepy." Leaning forward she placed a tender kiss on the end of Serena's nose, hovering her lips millimetres from hers before crushing them in a bruising kiss.

"I love you." Serena mumbled as Bernie finally pulled away. Tightening her grip of Serena Bernie returned the sentiments before sleep overcame them once more. Peacefully they laid in one another's arms until the shrill ring of an alarm clock informed them it was time to face reality.

Hand in hand they descended the stairs heading for the kitchen. Neither one of them wishing to break body contact with the other after months apart. The three months they had been apart having felt like an eternity to them both. The soft padding of their feet gave away their presence to Serena's nephew. "Good morning Auntie Serena." he said as Serena loomed in the doorway of the kitchen. He was sat in his usual position at the breakfast table, an empty cereal bowl sat before him. A quizzically expression crossed his face as he caught sight of Bernie. "Bernie, what are you doing here? Auntie Serena said you were in Nairobi. Did they not need you anymore? Were you fired? Are you coming back to work at the hospital?" Serena found herself rolling her eyes internally at her nephew's abruptness, she knew it was part of him, and although she wouldn't change him, he didn't always make people feel welcome.

"Jason, it would have been polite to say good morning to Bernie before you jumped into a game of 20 questions."

"I'm not playing 20 questions." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Serena, don't fret. It's fine. You know I appreciate Jason's straightforward approach to communication." Bernie said towards Serena before turning her attention to Jason. "I'll start with your first question and work through." She was pleased to see him nod. "I came to see Auntie Serena. I was in Nairobi, and they did… do still need me, but Auntie Serena needed me more. I wasn't fired…" Jason was satisfied with her answers and nodded happily before realising she had not answered all his questions.

"I also asked if you would be returning to work at the hospital."

"Honestly, I don't know Jason, that will be a conversation I will have with Mr Han… no I suppose it will be a conversation I will have with Ms Campbell about whether I have a job at the hospital now." She smiled nervously towards Serena, unsure of how it would all work now that she was the boss. She reasoned internally that the thought of getting a job at St James' wouldn't be so bad, especially now her ex husband had relocated. Her train of thought was cut off by Jason speaking once more.

"Ms Campbell is Auntie Serena. You could ask her now." He paused for a beat before shrugging. "But she might not need you now, Bernie. She has a new partner…"

"I do?" Serena interrupted, shooting Bernie a look as if to say she hadn't a clue where this was coming from. Bernie looked from Serena to Jason, compelling him to continue.

"Yes. Fred was telling me yesterday, he said that you and Mr Gaskell were partners now. He'd heard it from Mr Fletcher. I did think it was odd because you and Bernie were partners and I thought you kissed girls now." Jason looked towards his aunt then back to Bernie. Bernie pursed her lips to form a tight line, trying her best to suppress the laugh that wanted to escape. Biting hard on her tongue she got herself in check before nodding to Jason.

"Thank you for telling me about that Jason… Auntie Serena and I will have to talk about this." Jason nodded, quite satisfied with himself and stood from his seat. Placing his dirty crockery in the dishwasher he hastily made his exit, stating that he would be leaving for work in 23 minutes.

Serena had meanwhile stood flabbergasted for a moment before going to fill the kettle, deciding her nephew had been too much to deal with without coffee flowing through her veins. As Jason left the room Bernie crept up behind Serena, sweeping her arms around her middle and peppering her exposed neck with little kisses. "So, you have a new partner, do you…" swiping her tongue over the sensitive spot behind Serena's ear she grinned as she felt her melt into her arms. "Do I need to fight him for you?"

"Berenice Wolfe, you know as well as I that John Gaskell is not my partner in the same way you are my partner." Feeling her knees go weak at Bernie's continued assault of her pulse point, Serena found herself needing to brace against the work surface.

"He better keep his hands to himself…"

"Or what?" Serena asked in a daring tone, before seductively asking. "What will my big, macho, army medic do?"

"Wouldn't you like to know!" Bernie then spun Serena around at such speed that she was certain she would lose her balance, thankful for Bernie's firm grasp of her hips as their lips met once more in a passionate embrace. Breaking apart eventually the pair gazed longingly into each other's eyes, before Bernie broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between the pair. "So, what does one have to do to get the CEO to take the day off?"

"Perform a miracle that keeps all of the departments of the hospital running to budget and meeting their targets. I should get off by 5 today… and you can meet me for lunch... Sorry I can't spend the day with you."

Pondering for a moment Bernie eventually nodded. "I'll come by for lunch… I should let Cam and Charlotte know I'm back in the country too." She smiled softly down at Serena, sweeping her hair back gently from her face, knowing how her mentioning her children always brings into the fore Elinor's death for Serena, although during a frank conversation they'd had no France Serena had insisted that Bernie should not forgo mentioning her children, it would simply be something she would have to come to terms with as she moved on with her life.

"I'm sure they will both want to see you."

"And you… every time I speak to them both they always ask how you are." Nodding a little in acknowledgement Serena turned to continue to make them both coffee.

"You can get that bag unpacked too… I don't want it cluttering my hall for the next week." Serena said as she handed Bernie her coffee, using her spare hand to gesture to the hallway.

"Thanks… oh yes sorry. I'll erm, take it back to my flat… when you go to work." Bernie said a little flustered, tripping over her words.

"Or," Serena chorused, "You can take it upstairs and unpack it." Bernie let a little smile play on her lips, before the accident with Elinor they had talked of moving in together, but those plans had been pushed aside when Serena's grief took hold. Deciding to play innocent she furrowed her brow.

"But then my things would be here…"

"That would be the point."

"That wouldn't make much sense though… because when I needed to get dressed in the morning I would have to come here… and…" gesticulating manically with her hands Serena hushed her, her eyes twinkling when she caught the mirth in Bernie's.

"You're going to make me ask, aren't you?" Bernie drew her lips together and nodded with a smirk. "Berenice Wolfe, will you move in with me?" Suddenly she found herself swept into the arms of her lover, a kiss being placed on her lips. Once the lips had withdrawn she smiled, gazing into her eyes. "Can I take that as a yes?"

"You can." Bernie replied with a nod.


	4. Chapter 4

Bernie huffed in frustration at the woman in front of her. "I know she said she was not to be disturbed, but can you please ring through and tell her I'm here."

"I'm sorry Ms Campbell said unless it was an emergency I was not to interrupt her." The young timid PA looked somewhat terrified of the woman before her, but she found Serena Campbell far more terrifying.

"Oh, they'll be an emergency in a minute." Came Bernie's clipped response as she rolled her eyes once more. "Just press that little button," Bernie waved her finger over the intercom button, frustration written all over her face. "And tell her that Bernie is here. I assure you she is going to want to see me." Gaining some confidence from somewhere the young woman stood.

"I cannot and will not disturb her. You are going to have to wait until she is done. You may wait on those seats there." She said pointing to the side of the room.

It was nearly 20 minutes later that Serena appeared at her office door, looking stunning in her pant suit and high heels. Being CEO suits her, Bernie thought to herself, whilst she rose from the chair. "Amber, can you run through…" catching sight of Bernie her smile broadened. "Bernie, darling. Why didn't you let me know you were here?"

"I tried to… your phones off… and someone" she tilted her head at the young girl, whom she now knew was called Amber, "wouldn't tell you I'd arrived."

"Oh, sorry my darling… meeting with the board this morning, turned my phone off… I must have forgotten to switch it back on. Amber, dear… next time do let me know straight away she is here…"

"Of course, Ms Campbell. It was just you said not to disturb you."

"Bernie is always the exception to the rule, Amber." Bernie smirked at the young girl, giving her a I told you so look, whilst snaking her arm around Serena's waist to pull her closer. Serena smiled placing a gentle kiss on Bernie's cheek before turning back to her assistant. "Can you run me through my afternoon? I want to know how much time I have to escape for lunch."

"You have a two o'clock with Mr Gaskell, then a two thirty with him and a Mrs Wolfe, then you're done…"

"A Mrs Wolfe…" She turned from Amber to Bernie. "Is your mother coming in darling? Or did you get married again and not tell me…" she smirked wickedly.

"Well thought I'd tie the knot again after I heard from Jason about you and Gaskell…" Serena couldn't help but laugh, Bernie immediately joining her. Amber looked on in utter confusion at the scene in front, trying to work out what on earth was going on whilst also trying to look busy.

"Let's go and get some lunch…" Bernie spoke once their laughter had subsided. "I promise to have you back here by 1.45 ready for your meetings… need to build up your energy, I hear that Mrs Wolfe is a tough army Major."

"Ah she is a pussy cat really." Serena said as she released herself from Bernie's arms, disappearing into her office to collect her bag. Bernie looked at the poor girl still trying to work out what was going on. "Sorry about before, I should have introduced myself properly. Major Berenice Wolfe… or Ms Wolfe… or Bernie depending on who you are…"

"Or darling…" Serena said as she reappeared.

"Now that is only you who calls me that…" She said with a broad smile as she looked at Serena.

"Amber Wilson," the young girl replied offering her hand with a smile as she stood. "Are you Ms Campbell's partner? You look different to the photo…"

"What photo?" Bernie said with a questioning look on her face.

"Yes, well that will be all for now Amber..." Serena said slightly flustered at having been caught out having a photo of Bernie on her desk, trying to pull Bernie away.

"What photo?!" she implored looking between the two women in front of her. Serena wiggled her head slightly, her eyes rolling as she indicated for Amber to continue if she must.

"Ms Campbell has a photograph of the two of you on her desk…"

"Do you?" Bernie said looking all cute as she nodded. "I like that you do…"

"Means I could still look at you every day even when you weren't here."

"You are such a softie Campbell…" placing a chaste kiss on her lips she pulled her closer. "Come on, let's go or I will never have you back on time, and one mustn't keep your new partner waiting."

"For the last time, John Gaskell is not my partner!" Serena screeched as the two women left hand in hand.

-x-

Later that afternoon Bernie was sat across the table from Serena and John Gaskell. When she had come in to have the meeting about locum work to keep her busy whilst she was in the UK, this was not the offer she was expecting to receive.

"The ED?" she said in shock.

"Yes, it is a temporary position until Mrs Beauchamp returns. But the ED are in need of an experienced pair of hands to take the lead down there, Dr Hardy shall we say has not been up to the job and they need a strong consultant to guide the ship. It isn't quite trauma… but we have no doubt of your ability to do the job well."

"I made the proposal to the board this morning and it was accepted… subject to your acceptance obviously." John added.

Bernie nodded, taking the information in. Three months leading the ED. She could do that. It was mainly broken bones and weird ailments with the occasional high-speed car crash thrown in for good measure, but she could do it with her eyes closed. Nothing compared to the major traumas she saw in the field, but it was certainly better than doing hip and knee replacements as was suggested the last time she was in this office. "It is a very tempting offer, I must say. But I don't want to step on anyone's toes… least of all Connie Beauchamp's!"

"You wouldn't be. Mrs Beauchamp is aware of the decision and has agreed it is what is best for the department. If you choose to accept, we would like you to start on Monday."

"Err, right… yes… well yes, I accept." She said with a broad grin.

"Welcome back Ms Wolfe." Serena said as she stood to shake her hand.

"Thank you very much, Ms Campbell." She responded shaking her hand, her thumb dancing affectionately down the back of Serena's hand as she did. John smiled awkwardly before also shaking Bernie's hand.

"I will take my leave now… leave you in the capable hands of Ms Campbell." Bernie drew her lips together and gave him a nod as he left.

Once they were alone in the office Serena leant in and gave Bernie a delicate kiss. "I'm so pleased you'll be back… and I know it won't be the same as when we were on AAU together, but at least we're in the same place again."

"And you're my boss now… there is something very sexy about sleeping with the boss." She grinned mischievously.

"Behave. Or we'll both be in front of HR having a discussion about the appropriateness of work place relationships. We may now not be equals within the walls of the hospital, but at home we are equals in everything. Work will stay at work… and home will stay at home… agreed?"

"Damn, does that mean I can't feel you up in heads of department meetings." For that Bernie earnt herself a playful slap on the arm, both women bursting into fits of laughter.


	5. Chapter 5

The Campbell-Wolfe household was in utter chaos, the pair having wasted no time in officially moving Bernie in, the combining of two properties into one was more of a headache that either woman had thought it would be and due to the chaos Jason had chosen to spend a few weeks staying with Alan where his routine would remain stable and uninterrupted. The majority of Bernie's possessions were still stacked in boxes that they were trying to unpack and find homes for within the house. Despite their compatibility as a couple their houses had been very different places. Bernie choosing a minimalist approach, clean lines and very little in the way of possessions on display was a stark contrast to the busy and almost cluttered house that Serena had.

The pair had discussed the differences between the two houses often, especially in the days after Serena had asked Bernie to move in with her. The pair needing to be sure what they both wanted from their home together. One evening Serena had listened intently as Bernie explained that her apartment had never felt like home, she compared it to the solitary bunk room she had inhabited whilst on tour, solo accommodation having been a perk of reaching the rank of Major. Her eyes had glistened as Bernie told her that for the first time in her life she felt like she would have a home where she belonged. They skirted around the fact that Bernie felt she had never belonged in her marital home and Serena knew the acceptance of this was still raw for Bernie, that having spent all that time lying to herself about what she really wanted, still hurt deeply. When she laced their fingers together she held them tighter than normal, spoke barely above a whisper as she'd reassured her love that she would be home now, that they would have a home together for the rest of their lives. Uncharacteristically tears had fallen from the blonde's eyes and Serena had found herself kissing them away.

That evening felt years ago now, when reality informed them it had been little over 48 hours, the two of them having slipped perfectly into easy domesticity, neither of them having spent a night away from the house since Bernie's return. Routines between them formed without need for conversation. Each morning Bernie would take charge of preparing coffee for them both whilst Serena would gather the necessary items to prepare breakfast, a task they would do together, working as perfectly in sync in the kitchen as they did in an operating theatre. Life together felt easy.

Standing in the doorway to the living room Serena felt her heart swell with love as she watched Bernie unpack and sort a box of her possessions. "You okay, darling?" she said after a few moments.

"Mmm…" She hummed quietly, turning so she could see Serena's face. "I'm okay…" Serena could tell something was playing on Bernie's mind. Her ability to read the closed book that was Berenice Wolfe having been perfected throughout their time together.

"You're not…" she stated. Bernie allowed her shoulders to sink a little at her words, the façade ebbing away. She gently shook her head a little.

"I'm just being silly." She ran her finger over the gold lettering of the album she had sat on her lap.

"What's that?" Serena asked, guessing correctly it was the contents of this book that was causing Bernie's current mood.

"It is full of photos of Lottie and Cam from when they were little." Flicking open the pages she stopped at a photo of the two of them in a toy box, Charlotte beaming clutching her duck whilst Cameron was waving a toy car in the air. "This one is my favourite... I remember the day it was taken so clearly. We spent the whole day building a blanket fort and playing… we were all fast asleep in the fort when Marcus came home."

"That is a lovely memory." Serena responded but she spotted sadness in the blonde's face. "Talk to me?" Gripping tightly to the hand rested on her shoulder she kept her gaze fixed on the album, her spare hand running over a photo of her with Marcus and the children.

"When I look at these photos… the ones of me… I look so lost… so unhappy. It's no wonder my children hate me." The expression on her face was one of dejection. Serena tighten her grasp on Bernie.

"Hey, no. Don't say that. Neither Cameron or Charlotte hate you, and I won't hear you say that." She held Bernie tightly, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her temple. "Things were difficult for you back then, you were trying to conform, to be someone the world told you, you had to be. But that is in the past now… we won't pretend it didn't happen, but we are going to leave it behind and focus on a happier future…"

"How do you do that?" Bernie asked quietly.

"Do what?"

"Always know exactly what to say to make me feel better?"

"It's a gift I have when it comes to you my darling." Carefully she pressed another kiss to Bernie's temple. "We are going to phone your children in a minute and invite them for Sunday lunch… and that picture," she pointed out the one of them both in the toybox, "is going to be sat pride of place up there next to the one of Elinor when they do." She indicated to the mantle, where a photo of Elinor aged about 4 was beaming whilst wearing a pair of her mother's glasses was sitting in a crystal frame. Bernie sighed a content and happy sigh as she melted back into Serena, her body and mind relaxing.

They enjoyed the serenity for a few fleeting minutes before Serena broke the silence. "Come on, let's keep going… we have a lot of boxes still to unpack before you start work on Monday… and if your children are going to come on Sunday we want our home to look presentable." A huff of mock indignation broke from Bernie's lips as she righted herself, nodding in agreement as they both got to work unpacking more boxes.

-x-

Sunday came before they knew it. Thankfully due to tireless work from both women the piles of boxes had disappeared. Their two lives combining effortlessly into one now, their belongings alongside each other harmoniously throughout the house. The aroma of lamb roasting in the oven permeated every room of the house. Serena had insisted on taking the lead in the kitchen, although that had not prevented Bernie fussing around all morning.

As it got closer to twelve o'clock nervous butterflies danced in the pit of Bernie's stomach, she was trying to gather wine glasses from the shelf when she nearly dropped one, the trepidation of how the day would unfold leaving her more clumsy than normal. A calming hand covered hers as she set it down on the counter. "Everything, my darling, is going to be fine. They both willingly accepted the invitation and didn't even falter at the fact you now lived here. Please stop fretting." All Bernie could do was nod, the nerves in her temporarily calmed by the soft tone of Serena's voice.

It had been some time since either of the children had seen their mother. For Charlotte it had been the disastrous Christmas they'd spent together prior to Elinor's untimely death and Cameron hadn't seen his mother since he left for London that following February. But as they stepped through the door it felt like no time had passed at all. In turn both children clung to their mother, the warmth in their greetings shocking Bernie somewhat but she didn't falter as she held them just as tightly back.

Serena stood out of sight as they arrived, her hand clinging to her own chest to soothe the pain that she would never again get a reunion like this with Elinor. As quickly as the thoughts came she pushed them aside and stepped into the hall, a broad smile on her face to greet Bernie's children. Bernie caught sight of her immediately, instinctively looking beyond her smile to see the glint of pain in her eyes. "You both remember Serena…" her hand found Serena's quickly and pulled her closer, not scared to show her affection in front of her children, her eyes falling lovingly to Serena's, saying without words that she could only imagine how difficult this was for her. Their gaze was broken by Charlotte's words.

"Of course, mum… couldn't forget the lady that puts that smile on your face." Charlotte's words caused a blush to rise in Bernie's cheeks and Charlotte smirked before her expression softened and she looked to Serena. "It's nice to see you again." Hesitantly she approached her and gave her a tentative hug, Cam following suit, although he was less hesitant in his actions having grown very fond of Serena during his time on AAU.

"Good to see you Serena, you look well… and I was sorry to hear about Eli…" Serena swallowed, her hand lifting to fiddle uncomfortably with her hair at the nape of her neck. "Sorry… I just…"

"Honestly, it's fine, Cameron." Finding strength from within she smiled cautiously, "Don't be sorry for mentioning her. Shall we?" she indicated through to the sitting room, allowing the children to go ahead of herself and Bernie. Taking the briefest of moments, she found Bernie's lips on her own, mumbled 'I love yous' passing between them.

Upon joining the children in the sitting room, they found Charlotte stood by the mantle. "As if you have this photo up! I demand you take it down instantly… look at my awful haircut." Charlotte chimed overlooking the photo of her and her brother that had found its way on to the mantle just as Serena said it should.

"It's staying put. I love that photo of the two of you. It one of the ones I used to carry with me when on tour." Bernie said as she crossed the room to stand beside her daughter.

"Did you really?" Charlotte's couldn't hide the shock in her voice as she spoke, her eyes quickly moving from the photo to her mother in time to see her nod.

"Not that copy obviously, the one I carried is rather battered now… having that picture with me reminded me how important it was I got home in one piece." There was obvious shock on both Cameron and Charlotte's faces at their mother's revelation and they both swiftly enveloped her in a bear hug, their heads being kissed in turn by Bernie. None of them noticed as Serena took out her phone and snapped the tender moment. Eventually Bernie spoke, "Right my little cubs… can I get either of you a drink?" both nodded and followed their mother into the kitchen.

"Cubs?" Serena said with a questioning look as she followed. Charlotte turning on her heal and smiling.

"Mummy Wolfe." Charlotte said so fondly indicating to Bernie. "and we have always been her little Wolfe cubs." She said indicating to herself and her brother. The look of love on Serena's face was a thing of beauty as she took in Charlotte's words.

The rest of the afternoon went without a hitch, the four of them falling into easy conversation as they sat at the dinner table and then in the sitting room. Cameron and Charlotte filled the pair in about their lives, trying to fill their mother in on the details she had missed in their time apart. Bernie doing the same, telling them of the time she shared with Serena in the South of France, her time in Sudan as well as the trauma unit she set up in Nairobi. She then spoke about her new temporary role at the hospital and her hope to find something permanent locally, making her intentions to stay within the vicinity very clear.

Before they knew it, several hours had passed and the sun was setting in the sky. It was then that it was time for them to leave. Bernie fussed over her children as any mother would do, confirming how they were getting home satisfied that they would both be safe when Cameron informed her he was driving them. The hugs that passed between them all were affectionate and warm, the promise to see each other again very soon hanging in the air as they got into the car and drove away. Bernie stood waving them off, her spare arm wrapped around Serena, until they were out of sight.


	6. Chapter 6

Things hadn't gone entirely smoothly for Bernie since she has started in the ED. Of course, many of the staff had come across her during her time on AAU and her reputation as a leading trauma specialist had preceded her but apparently being attached to the CEO had its downsides when trying to make a good first impression. Her preference to spend her post working hours in Albie's as opposed to in The Hope and Anchor with the rest of the ED staff also did little in the way of soothing relations. She'd overheard several snippets of conversations regarding herself and Serena, the insinuations that new funding being diverted to the department was down to sexual favours and the such like. She had shrugged it off but knew it was only getting worse, and the frequency with which the CEO found herself in the department was not helping.

"Serena…" she greeted her partner with a smile although it didn't travel to her eyes, unconsciously they were twitching to see who would have spotted her unannounced arrival. Not missing a trick Serena furrowed her brow, her eye line matching that of Bernie's.

"Problem?" She asked as the door clicked shut behind her.

"Oh… err… no…" All it took was a look from Serena for Bernie to raise her hands in surrender. "Alright…" She stood, moving to the other side of her desk, perching her bottom on the edge as she spoke, gesticulating uncharacteristically with her hands. "I don't think the ED has ever had this many visits from the CEO… Ever! Most days you pop down to see me, bring me a coffee, lurk in resus as I work, and I love that you do all that…"

"Here comes the but…" Bernie winced slightly, smiling apologetically at Serena as she continued.

"But your continuing presence down here is putting the staff's noses out of joint… they feel like they are being checked up on. And… well… before I was down here you sent Jac down to do your dirty work... and I've overheard them…" Bernie looked uncomfortable now. "commenting on the special privileges I get from the CEO..." she didn't need to say any more, the implication of what was being said about them hanging in the air.

"Ah…" the response was perfunctory. Serena glanced down, proffering the envelope she was holding in her hands, that until now Bernie had not noticed. "And this probably isn't going to help…"

"What is it?" Bernie took the envelope, running her finger under the seal. Serena took a breath, straightening her back and adopting her 'CEO stance' as Bernie had labelled it.

"My presence down here today is not of my own fruition, I have been sent by the board… directly from our meeting in fact." Serena signalled for them to have a seat. "I would normally do this in my office, but the chairman was insistent I come down here immediately to speak to you… to prevent you accepting the job you have been offered…" Bernie's shoulder sank, she scuffed the toes of her shoes awkwardly against the floor, only catching the look in Serena's eyes through the wisps of her fringe. The look told her that this was a topic of conversation they would be investigating further. She went to speak but was stopped by Serena's hand, her making it quite clear that she did not want to delve into it now. Bernie took a seat, feeling rather small as Serena stood over her before she sat herself.

"For some months the board have been working on a proposal for Holby to become a designated centre for trauma. In the last few days they have dotted the I's and crossed the t's and it has been confirmed. Our meeting today was to discuss staffing…" Bernie nodded, knowing, at this time, that this was all that was required of her in way of response. "I have been sent down here to offer you the post of Senior Consultant Trauma Surgeon."

Bernie had been dumbfounded initially, shocked that the Holby Trust were going to be venturing back into trauma so soon after having shut down the unit which her and Serena had worked so hard to build. The explanation that the closure had been misguided and subsequent heads had rolled because of it answered her questions and allowed her to think a little more clearly about what was being presented to her. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes whilst Bernie read the job description she had been given, taking in what it would mean for her to take up this new role. On paper it seemed like the perfect job, back to the nitty gritty of trauma whilst still being in the same place as Serena. In the pack she found the proposal, it detailed how the centre would run and the necessary changes that would be made at Holby to bring it up to standard before they would officially open, it would make for interesting reading that was for sure.

When her eyes moved up to meet Serena's once more they were alive, the excitement of the proposition evident in them. Serena smiled recognising the look in her lover's eyes.

"I think I was sent to deliver the news in the hope I would be able to use my powers of persuasion over you to get you to accept. I however, won't be doing that." She kept her gaze steady and unfaltering. "I will happily discuss the proposal with you at home, as your partner, but my role of CEO will not come in to it. It would be unfair of me to persuade you either way. It is your decision to make." The look Bernie gave her was one of pure love.

"Thank you… it's a lot of think over and take in… I want to make sure I read all of this." She indicated to the paperwork. "and I will want to discuss it with you…" she said softly, to her partner, reaching to give her hand a little squeeze.

"We can do that tonight." Serena then stood with a smile, deciding to take her leave. The pair switched effortlessly between personal and professional boundaries as Bernie stood to show her out of the office. "and I will let the board know as soon as I have made my decision."

"They will appreciate that. I will let you get on now. If you have any questions… from a professional viewpoint about the proposal, I will be more than happy to answer them. You know where my office is." Bernie nodded once more, hesitating for a few moments before reaching out and grabbing Serena's wrist.

"Serena… I…" she stuttered, wanting there and then to explain why she hadn't mentioned the job offer to her, catching her eyes she gave an apologetic smile.

"You'll have had your reasons… we'll discuss them tonight." With a nod she pulled away from Bernie's grasp and swiftly left the office, leaving Bernie quaking in her wake, berating herself for not having been open with Serena.

-x-

Serena was greeted that evening by Bernie offering her a large glass of Shiraz, a daft expression on her face. "Hi…" she said a little shyly, not sure of how Serena's mood would play out now they were home and alone. Would she be angry with her? Upset perhaps? Bernie had played out many scenarios in her head, overthinking as she always did.

"Hello you." Was all that was said before their lips met in a tender kiss, Serena toeing off her shoes and dropping her bags to the floor whilst never breaking their lips. Once her hand was freed of the weight of her bag she took the wine from Bernie and broke their embrace to take a long and savouring taste. Her tongue teasing the side of the glass seductively. Bernie missed the gesture entirely, the knot in her stomach growing by the second until the outpouring of words came from her mouth.

"I need to explain… and I don't know if you want me to do it now or wait… but I know I need to explain and I don't want you to be mad… I didn't think it was a big deal… but now I see it was… and oh god I don't want to have messed us up… I'm so good at messing everything up…" Serena stood shocked in the wake of Bernie's babbling and only managed to stop her continuing by placing a finger delicately to her lips before replacing it with her own to try and calm the blonde.

"Nothing is messed up. I'm not mad. I was just shocked I didn't hear about it from you. Now why don't we move into the sitting room, take a seat and you can explain?" Bernie nodded.

Making their way into their sitting room the two-woman sat themselves onto the large leather sofa, their bodies facing one another, their knees brushing together. Setting aside her wine glass Serena made herself comfortable, clasped Bernie's hands in her own and nodded showing she was ready when Bernie was. It took a few moments for the blonde to speak, her eyes meeting Serena's as she did, ensuring the eye contact between them was maintained. "I feel so stupid for not having told you before. But I said no immediately and didn't think anything more of it. You have to believe me. I wasn't hiding it on purpose." She held tightly to Serena's hands, hoping beyond hope that Serena would not be mad with her. "Last week my old commanding officer telephoned, he had heard I was back in Holby. He offered me a job at Frimley, he'd heard Marcus and I had divorced but not about you. Last he knew I was leaving the army to salvage my marriage so when he knew that was no longer a factor he assumed I might like my military life back. The job was training new army medics in frontline medicine, most of the time based in the UK but flying out to support in warzones when needed. I let him explain for what felt like ages… old habits die hard and the soldier in me didn't want to interrupt a senior officer… but when he asked if I would be interested I declined. I didn't even think about it again until you mentioned it today… I knew then I should have told you, but it felt like such a non-event at the time that I completely forgot… I was more concerned with coming home and telling you about the man who had eaten the barbie head." She let out a laugh, nervous to do so but hoping she wasn't misjudging the mood Serena was in. She had listened intently, and her eyes didn't once leave Bernie's, when she joined Bernie in her laughing the tension visibly released from Bernie's shoulders.

"Well that makes sense now… I knew there would have been a reason you didn't tell me… I'm glad it wasn't that you were trying to work out how to tell me you were running off for work again."

"Never." Bernie said with all her might. "I'm never leaving you again." A pregnant pause hung in the air before Serena spoke.

"Do you miss it?"

"What the army?" Bernie asked, continuing at the slight inclination from Serena's head. "Not really. It was a huge part of my life for so long so naturally I miss some things. But my life is so much better now than it was then… if I'd never have left I would never have met you." She ended her sentence by landing a kiss on Serena's lips.

"And I do like having my macho army medic around." She responded with a broad smile. Moving so their bodies were entwined Serena gazed up into Bernie's eyes. "I have another question…" her voice was almost a whisper. "I don't want you to think this means I want you to reenlist… but do you still have your uniform?" the blush on Serena's cheeks was ferocious by the time she had got her sentence out, the glint in her eye giving everything away to Bernie before she buried her face trying to hide the embarrassment of how excited she got of the thought of Bernie in uniform.


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning gorgeous." Serena said as she stepped out of the shower, seeing Bernie leaning nude against the door frame. Carefully capturing her lover's lips on her own. Behind them their clothing, including Bernie's army fatigues, lay strewn across the floor of the bedroom, where it had been discarded in the throws of passion.

"Good morning to you too… now, I'd like you turn back around and join me in that shower." She said as she twisted her arms around Serena's middle, her lips hovering over the pulse point on her neck sending her lover weak at the knees. A delicious moan left her lips before she desperately tried to compose herself against Bernie's lustful attack.

"As much as I would love to…" she breathed, "not all of us have today off." Her resistance to Bernie was becoming more futile by the minute as the blonde's lips made their way now her clavicle. "I have to see the board in an hour." She whimpered as Bernie's lips continued their assault. Mustering all her self-control and strength she freed herself from Bernie's arms. "Tonight, I am all yours, Major." Quickly, she placed a final chaste kiss on Bernie's lips knowing if she allowed herself any more she would give into the temptation she was being presented with there and then.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Bernie chimed, swatting at Serena's bum as she walked to the bedroom. She stood watching Serena get dressed from her vantage point, murmuring and mumbling her displeasure at Serena putting on clothes. Eventually Serena was fully dressed and heading out the door, kisses being blown as she went. Bernie hovered where she was for a few moments before sighing contently and heading for the shower.

Lathering herself up she hummed to herself as she always did, hot water splashing down her back as she exfoliated her skin. After years in the army she now enjoyed the pleasure of elongated showers and the pampering effects of the many products Serena kept to hand. As she always did her hands gently caressed her body as she washed herself free of soap suds, but today as her hand skimmed across the soft curve of her breast she felt an unfamiliar lump beneath her fingers. Examining it more thoroughly she felt sick to the bottom of her stomach. Fear coursing through her about what the unfamiliar lump might be.

-x-

That afternoon Bernie found herself in an unfamiliar hospital, her hands twirling nervously in her lap as she waited to be called through to the consultation room. Her immediate panic that morning had seen her phone a private hospital nearby who could see her today, and whilst she was sure she could have got the same treatment at Holby she didn't want to worry Serena.

The reversal of the doctor and patient role was not something Bernie had ever enjoyed. She had hated it when she had been hospitalized following the IED and the fact she was eminently more qualified to operate on the pseudoaneurysm that she had been plagued with than the young Doctor Valentine had given her an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. But given that no one had yet managed to successfully perform open heart surgery on themselves so had been forced to entrust her life in his and Guy Self's hands. Today was no exception. Playing patient was never a role she was going to take easily. But somehow it felt different, she had little to no experience of breast masses, they weren't the norm in Trauma, and frankly she didn't care to remember how long it had been since she had worked on oncology. Her own lack of knowledge in this field gave her a different uncomfortable feeling within. The fact she did not know exactly what cause of action would be taken was unsettling. She was going to have to put her trust and her life in someone else's hands once more.

The consultation room felt cold as Bernie had taken her seat. Her eyes had scrutinised the consultant before her, immediately she tried to calculate their age and therefore how many years they may have been practising. Clearly reading her expression she had been allowed to ask questions and despite her scrutiny the man had willingly answered them openly and honestly. She found herself oddly comforted by his openness and it soothed her as the consultation turned to her discovery.

Eyes fixed intently on the monitor screen she watched as the ultrasound gave the consultant and radiologist a clear picture of the mass. A sick feeling settling in her stomach, her mind fogging until she didn't feel like she was in the room at all. She thought of the pain it would cause her family if it were cancer. Serena had only recently recovered from the loss of her daughter; how would she cope if Bernie were to have cancer? She thought of her children and how it would affect them. She berated herself internally for being selfish as she thought of herself, how would she cope if she were faced with a cancer battle? She questioned her own strength and ability to fight.

She snapped out of her daze as she was handed some tissue. For a second, as she ridded her skin of the sticky gel and covered herself up again, she thought of how Serena would react to her having her breasts out in front of people. Wondering how possessive she would be about other hands touching her. But the moment of light relief was short lived as the consultant began to explain what he was going to do next.

In typical stoic style Bernie had refused any form of sedation for the biopsy procedure so to say the least it was uncomfortable. The numbing effects of the local anaesthesia couldn't dampen the pressure she felt as the incision was made and the tugging sensation as each tissue sample was taken. She thought to herself when they were finished that the stitches to close the wound had possibly been the worse part as the local had begun to wear off.

Once she was bandaged up and had been monitored for thirty minutes she was allowed to redress and leave. Upon being informed she would be called back in a few days to receive her results Bernie had insisted that receiving them via post would be far more convenient with her busy schedule and gave them the hospitals address for their delivery. At least with a letter she wouldn't need to arrange time off with Serena if her working hours clashed with the appointment time she was given she thought to herself.

Bernie felt as if she could have fallen asleep right there in the hallway as she made her way through the front door. The emotionally charged nature of her day exhausting her beyond belief. A quick look to the clock told her that it wouldn't be long before Serena was home, leaving her no time to wallow. If she were going to protect Serena from this unless she absolutely had to tell her then she was going to need to muster all the energy she could to make this evening as normal as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time Serena made it home that evening she was desperate to hold her lover in her arms and have her close. A full day of meetings with the board about budgets and cuts had left her in need of the soft comforts of home and Bernie's warm embrace. The house was perfectly still as she stepped through the door, other than the low hum of music coming from the kitchen. After slipping her shoes off she carefully made her way towards the kitchen anticipating the sight she would find. When Bernie had moved in just a few months previously she hardly had a domestic bone in her body but now she was regularly found in the kitchen. Her messy hair was always scrapped back into a short pony tail and she would often wear a novelty apron which had the words kiss the cook emblazoned across the front. The apron had been a gift from Serena, Bernie accusing her that it was merely to give her an excuse to distract her from cooking. Tonight, that was exactly how Serena found Bernie, hair up, apron on and humming distractedly whilst cautiously stirring a wok full of vegetables. Even though she had been expecting it, Serena would never get used to the sight and it elicited a beaming smile from her, that reached her eyes. Creeping slowly up behind her lover she was careful as she snaked her arms around her middle and pressed a firm kiss into her shoulder, the action caused Bernie to start before she relaxed slightly into the hold.

"I didn't mean to make you jump." Serena purred into her ear as she held her tighter. Bernie's hands moved to rest on top of Serena's arms, her eyes fluttering shut as she allowed herself to be held. She'd needed the comfort of Serena's arms all day and clasping her hands over Serena's she drew all the strength from them that she could, a low hum of happiness leaving her mouth. Serena's hands soon were at Bernie's waist, twisting her so they were chest to chest. Knowing a tight embrace would put pressure on her chest Bernie braced her hands against Serena's upper arms, keeping a distance between their torsos. Serena leant in for a kiss, only managing to flutter her lips against Bernie's before the other woman pulled back, a playful smile hiding her true emotions.

"You're trying to distract me Ms Campbell… go and pour the wine whilst I dish up." She brushed her finger tip on Serena's nose and span back to face the cooker, her eyes flickering shut and lips drawing into a thin line as she took deep breaths to steady her emotions. Her mantra of _you are doing this to protect her_ playing over and over in her head. Serena withdraw her hands from Bernie's hips and did as she was asked, her mind immediately wondering why something just didn't seem right with her partner.

"Good day darling?" she asked trying to engage Bernie in conversation about their days.

"Hmmm… oh my day… yeah, fine." Bernie formulated quickly a plan in her head of what her day had entailed that did not include being prodded and poked by several different health care professionals. "I went for a run and didn't do much else. How was yours?"

"Boring… I sat in multiple meetings about budgets and awful cuts and then I did paperwork and came home. I didn't see an actual patient all day." She rolled her eyes, lifting her glass of wine to her lips and taking a sip before sighing as the flavours of Shiraz danced over her tongue. "I hope you didn't exhaust yourself running… I'd banked on us both to getting some exercise tonight, Major." She winked cheekily catching Bernie's gaze.

"If the truth be known darling I over did it whilst running..." she smiled apologetically, feeling her heart break a little that she was rebuffing the advances of the woman she loves.

"Oh… I see… cuddles on the sofa then." Serena smiled slightly, trying to sound chipper as she collected the cutlery from the draw and laid it out at the table. Bernie didn't say another word just nodded and carried on preparing their meal.

The two-woman sat in companionable silence at the table, looks of affection passing between them as they studied one another's behaviour. Both woman minds whirred at a hundred miles and hour as they processed their days. Following dinner Bernie insisted on doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen whilst Serena went to relax in the sitting room. She knew is she kept herself busy Serena would dozing on the sofa by the time she made her way into be with her and she could get away with sitting in the chair, minimising the risk of Serena discovering the dressing currently covering a large portion of her left breast. The true test would come at bedtime, she was yet to work out how she would get away with wearing pyjamas to bed without being questioned, given how habitual her sleeping nude was.

Eventually she made her way in to join Serena, steaming cups of cocoa in her hands. "I was making one for me and thought you might like one too." She placed a soft kiss on Serena's hair as she handed it over, receiving a muttering of thanks as it was grasped firmly in Serena's hands. Carefully Bernie lowered herself in the large arm chair beside the sofa. "I forgot how good this chair was." She said with a flicker of a smile as she sipped her cocoa.

"Did you strain your back when running?" Serena asked, taking a sip of cocoa from her own cup.

"What? Oh sorry, yes. Pushed too hard. You know me. Need to remember I'm not 25 anymore. I'm going to turn in after I've drunk this."

"Okay darling, I'll come up with you… it's been a long day and I could do with an early night."

It wasn't long before hand in hand the two of them climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Flicking on the light Bernie grabbed a pair of pyjamas from her drawer. "I'm just going to change…" Bernie said waving the pyjamas at Serena before turning towards their ensuite. Serena looked shocked, her fingers pausing from undoing her own buttons.

"Bernie?" Stopping and turning towards her the blonde gave her a tiny smile.

"Won't be a minute." With that she disappeared leaving a very confused Serena in their bedroom, a million scenarios to explain the change in Bernie's behaviour playing over and over in her mind. Despite her confusion she continued to get herself ready for bed, padding around the bedroom. Serena settled herself at the dresser and began to carefully remove the layers of makeup from her face, working a soothing night cream into her skin when she was finished.

"You look tired darling." She spoke as Bernie emerged from the bathroom, placing her dirty clothing in the laundry hamper.

"That run took it out of me, that's all… and I missed you." Bernie said with a small smile, placing a gentle kiss on the top of Serena's head.

"You're going soft in your old age." She chuckled softly, "Is this why you've been quiet this evening? Because you've missed me today?"

"Mmm." Bernie murmured in agreement, hoping Serena wouldn't question her change in behaviour any further if she did. Serena span herself around, her hands clasping around Bernie's.

"I like these" she said nodding to the pyjamas, her mind questioning why suddenly the blonde had a penchant for traditional two-piece night wear sets.

"These old things… thought I'd throw them on as it was a bit nippy." Leaning forward she caught Serena's lips on her own, then released her hands and headed to the bed. Carefully she climbed into the bed, sliding down into the covers and drawing them tightly around her.

After finishing in the bathroom, herself Serena joined her, shuffling herself to the middle of the bed, as she did each night, so she could curl herself into Bernie's side. She allowed her fingers to trace delicate patterns across Bernie's abdomen as she whispered her love to her. Leaning up she placed a gentle kiss on Bernie's cheek.

"Night darling." Bernie mumbled as she shifted position, trying desperately to find comfort.

"Sleep already? I can think of something else I would rather do." Slowly Serena's hands started to unbutton Bernie's pyjama top, exposing her stomach.

"Serena. No!" She almost yelled, catching Serena's hand with her own, hissing in pain at her own sudden movements. Bernie bit her lip, her eyes pressed tightly together trying not to allow the tears that had formed in her eyes to fall.

"Sorry… I thought… sorry…" Serena croaked out, emotion lacing her voice at the obvious rebuff from her partner, shifting away to her side of the bed she tightly held the covers to her chest, willing herself not to cry.

A silence hung in the air that felt like an eternity, but in fact was little more than a few seconds before Bernie moved. Audibly wincing she turned in the bed, her hand carefully reaching for Serena's shoulder, knowing her plan to hide the truth from Serena was foolish.

"I… I need to tell you something… I didn't want to tell you… Not until I knew… for sure." She stumbled over her words and whispered so quietly that Serena could have been forgiven for not hearing her. However, in the silence of the room she had heard every word. Slowly she found herself moving so she was facing Bernie, carefully entwining their fingers.

"Talk to me… please." Serena whispered just as quietly. Taking a deep breath Bernie continued,

"I found a lump." she said barely above a whisper, her eyes darting from Serena's gaze.

"What? I don't understand." Serena said, sitting herself up a little whilst trying to keep her voice level, hiding the panic rising within.

"I found a lump in my breast… this morning… in the shower." Somehow Bernie had managed to keep her voice calm, despite the terror she was feeling. Serena shook her head.

"A lump… you need to get it checked. Let me… let me feel it…" In panic her hands were everywhere, tears bubbling in her eyes. "Why didn't I notice it?"

"Serena… calm down." Bernie gasped as she sat herself up more, clasping Serena's hands as she did. "I can't let you do that." Her eyes fluttered closed as she took a deep breath, before opening them and looking deep into Serena's eyes. "I can't let you because it hurts… I went to see someone. They scanned me and have done a biopsy… I'll get the results in a few days. I didn't want to tell you if I didn't have to."

"But…" Serena's vision blurred with tears. "You shouldn't have been alone… not if you've had that done… You should have told me straight away, I could have been with you… Oh Bernie…"

"Sorry." Bernie said with a sad smile. Leaning across to kiss Serena's lips she whimpered once again in pain.

"Is it hurting?" seeing Bernie nod she squeezed tightly to her hands. "Have you taken anything for the pain, darling?" her gaze turned sympathetic as Bernie nodded her head.

"The good stuff too." Serena stroked her hand down Bernie's cheek, her fingers then cupping her chin as she lent in for a chaste kiss. No words were then needed between them as they held each other and curled back down into the bed. Once they were settled Bernie let a few tears escape her eyes, her hands gripping tightly to Serena's pyjama top as she murmured. "I love you so very much."

Serena held her a little tighter in her arms than she normally would whispering back. "I love you too… and whatever happens, we'll face it together. Get some rest now my darling." Stroking Bernie's soft blonde hair soothingly she silently prayed to a God she wasn't even sure existed that her beautiful girl would be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

In the following days Serena saw cancer everywhere she looked. She wasn't sure if it had always been this visible in her every day work or whether she was more sensitive to it, more aware of it. Much like when you get a new car and suddenly you see that same make of car everywhere you drive. Bernie had continued stoically Serena thought to herself, she hadn't seen a flicker in her emotions after her initial tears on the first night. Of course, Serena knew that Bernie had always been skilled at burying her emotions, the good old British reserve winning out in times of crisis. The same could not be said for Serena and she would weep about the what ifs any time she was alone, not wanting to do it in front of Bernie, for once, she told herself, she needed to be the strong one. At home they didn't mention it, it became the elephant in the room. Neither of them wanting to pop the bubble of denial they wrapped around themselves in the comfort of their own home. Bernie would however discuss the trauma centre and insisted on breaking the separation of work and home to discuss the proposals at length with Serena. Throwing herself head on into the project determined to put Holby City Hospital on the map as the best major trauma centre in the country.

It had been 5 days since Bernie's biopsy and Serena knew she was finding out the results today. That morning they had ignored the subject, keeping to their normal routine. The drive had been quiet and as they'd parted ways Bernie had, as always, told Serena she loved her and that she would see her at 5pm to go home. Serena had taken that as Bernie's way of saying she would not be needed when she got her results and kissed her back and echoed the same sentiments. Serena marvelled at how beautifully calm Bernie had looked as she breezed through the doors into the ED, her bag slung over her shoulder casually, her blonde hair in its usual messy state. She really did take her breath away. It had taken a few moments and the blast of a siren to snap Serena out of her daze before she made her way to her own office.

The faint whiff of incense lingered in the air of Serena's office, she lay back on the sofa and tried to find calm within herself. As the day had worn on the nervous energy had started to bubble within her, so much so all afternoon meetings had to be cancelled and postponed, a medical emergency being sighted as the reason, but in truth she could think only of Bernie. A sharp knock startled Serena from her peace, the door opening before she'd even had the chance to call the culprit in.

"What did I tell you about going full hippy Campbell?" came the tones of a certain Ms Naylor, as the whaff of incense hit her. "You never go full hippy." She laboured her point punctuating each word. A groan left Serena's mouth as she slowly righted herself on the sofa, a somewhat fake smile falling onto her lips.

"Jac… How can I help you?" Serena barely managed to stop her eyes rolling as Jac launched into a tirade about the state of funding on Darwin and how if they were to keep their status then she would need a sufficient cash injection for training and equipment. It took a few minutes for Serena to find a sufficient pause in Jac's words to interject. "Well thank you for that, so… carefully thought out request for funding. May I suggest you put it in writing and I shall present it to the board. Now if that was all…" she opened the door, gesturing for Jac to exit before she could say another word. Quickly closing the door behind her Serena sunk back against it, sliding herself slowly to the floor. Her mind immediately back on Bernie.

It was mid-afternoon when Bernie found herself hidden away on the hospital roof, an official looking envelope clutched in her sweaty palms. She was lost in a world of her own thoughts when she was interrupted.

"Penny for them?"

"Hmmm…" she mumbled before looking up to see Dom stood there. "Sorry… lost in my own head. It's good to see you." He nodded in response, sitting himself beside her on the edge of the heating vent.

"You too… been a while… ruling the roost in the ED I hear…" he glanced over and saw Bernie was distracted and not really listening still. "Something interesting in there?" he said gesturing to the envelope. "You look like it might be about to burst into flames at any moment."

"I wish it would." Sighing she looked at Dom and then the envelope. "This envelope could turn my life upside down."

"Oh. Want to talk about it?" he said kindly, nudging her shoulder with his own. "I'm a good listener."

"I'm not good at talking."

"I remember. But you look like you need to." He stated bluntly. Bernie pursed her lips, before drawing them into a long thin line.

"I have a lump in my breast."

"Not a boob man myself but…" the remark elicited a small smile from Bernie before she sighed.

"This envelope contains a letter that will tell me if I have cancer or not." The words almost caught in her throat.

"And you don't want to open it… because then it becomes real…" He said matter-of-factly, knowing any sign of sympathy or pity would not be welcomed by Bernie. She nodded in response. He screwed his nose up. "As a doctor you do know you can't make things go away by ignoring them."

"What about her though?" she said almost whispering.

"Who?" He said with a questioning look on his face.

"Serena…" Bernie replied on an outbreath, the word almost inaudible. "I don't want to hurt her." Dom leant across and wrapped his arm around Bernie.

"Ms Campbell loves you, if it is the worst news then I can't tell you it won't hurt her… but you can't ignore it." Giving her shoulder a little squeeze, he continued. "You might be worrying for nothing, you know. You haven't even opened the envelope. It might be nothing. Go and find Serena and open it with her. Either way she is the one person you are going to want to hold onto once you've opened that envelope."

"You're right… thank you for listening." Dom smiled nodding towards her as she stood and left.

Being roused once more from her place of calm Serena wailed in frustration. Her eyes darting to the door with a death glare as she moved towards the door. "This better be bloody important." She grumbled as she opened the door, her face instantly softening when she saw her messy haired partner stood there.

"Err… can I come in?" Bernie said, working very hard to keep a tremble from her voice.

"Of course, darling…" bundling her through the door she closed it softly behind her, her stomach doing nervous flips at what Bernie might be about to tell her. Upon turning on her heel she saw Bernie holding out an envelope in front of her. Her eyes dropped to it before raising to Bernie's face.

"It's the results… and I can't open them… I mean I can… but I can't… not without... what I mean is… I need…" Bernie was never one for clear communication and the fear and nerves coursing around her body did little in the way of helping. Taking a deep breath to still herself she looked at Serena. "Will you open them with me?"

The question didn't need to be asked twice and no words were needed between them. Time almost stilled. The world in slow motion as they sat together, arms entwined with each other. It was Serena's trembling hands that opened the envelope, pulling the letter within from it slowly. Cautiously she caught Bernie's gaze, waiting for her approval before she went any further. Bernie's eyes were glassy with tears, her whole body physically shaking when she finally confirmed she was ready.

With a final movement Serena opened the piece of paper in her hands, both sets of eyes scanning the text. Simultaneously they clasped one another tighter, the emotional damn that had built between them in the last few days breaking, emotion hitting them like a tidal wave of as they collapsed into each other's arms.

It felt like an ocean of time had passed before either of them were able to form coherent words. Both women grasped firmly to one another, pulling each other as close as humanly possible until their bodies were almost merged as one. Eventually, as their sobs subsided and their breathing steadied, they moved their heads from where they had been buried in the crooks of the others neck to look into each other's eyes. Faces stained with tears and eyes bloodshot. It was Bernie who broke their silence. "No more tears." She whispered tentatively, not quite trusting her voice.

"Sorry." Serena managed to mumble before catching her lips on Bernie's in a sloppy kiss. Her hands stroking up to Bernie's damp cheeks. "I'm just so relieved."

"I know… me too" her fingers made their way to her lover's cheek, ghosting over the surface to wipe away the tear stains. She turned her attention to the paper that sat in her lap reading the words aloud for the first time. "… a benign phyllodes tumour." She scanned further down the letter still holding Serena close. "They are suggesting I have it removed." Serena nodded against her shoulder.

"Best to. Even though it isn't cancer, it's best to have it removed." She sniffed loudly, using her own hand to wipe away the remnants of the tears in her eyes.

"Yes…" Bernie's words were a little unsure, nerves creeping in once more, "I suppose you are right." She steeled herself for a couple of moments then spoke again. "I'd… I'll need some time off…"

"Of course. It's a good job you are closely acquainted with the CEO, isn't it?" Serena smiled, deciding slipping back into their usual pattern of light flirtatious humour wouldn't do any harm. "I'll take the time too… so I can look after you."

"There isn't any…" her words were cut off by a stern look on Serena's face.

"There will be no arguments Berenice. I will be looking after you."

"Thank you." Although quiet Bernie's simple thanks held a depth of meaning. Serena was her strength and stay. Her guardian through the storm.


	10. Chapter 10

Bernie sunk into her office chair and sighed heavily. It had been a long and difficult few hours. Her eyes fell to the slightly battered frame on her desk which housed a much-loved picture of Serena and her. It had been taken one Saturday evening whilst they'd been with friends. Bernie looking directly to the camera, her fringe characteristically shielding her eyes, her cheeks tinged with a rosy glow, whilst Serena had been caught mid laugh and was looking off to the side, her whole face alight with joy. Bernie had thought Serena had never looked more beautiful and instantly had had it printed for her desk. Allowing herself a moment to indulge in the happy memories the photo a small smile flickered onto her lips. Casting a glance around her department from her vantage point she was happy to see all was currently calm so picked up the telephone and keyed in the internal dialling code she knew so well, 3472. The phone buzzed in her ear, her eyes firmly placing themselves once more on the picture.

"Serena Campbell." came the familiar voice from the other end of the line.

"Hello you." Bernie responded breathlessly, trying to allow the tension of the day to leave her body upon hearing her voice.

"This is a nice surprise. I should have known it would be you ringing up from the ED, but I didn't know you were in…" Serena's brow furrowed, checking the time and date before she continued. "Hold on you're not meant to be in… what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong…" her tone wavered. "A woman collapsed in front of me in the supermarket. The doctor in me took over and I ended up here"

"Maybe I need to add hero to your title, Ms Wolfe." Serena spoke with such fondness it made Bernie's heart swell.

"That won't be needed." She faltered for a minute before deciding to continue. "It's been a tough one though…"

"Do you need to talk about it? I don't have any more meetings so can get away… and you aren't even meant to be in work. Stay put and I will come and meet you." A thank you was all Bernie managed to get out before the line went dead, ever grateful for the fact Serena knew exactly what she needed even when she wasn't always sure herself.

Serena had practically run her way down to the ED and by the time she rounded to Bernie's office was a little out of puff, chuckling to herself as she reached the door that she must join Bernie in the gym. Through the slatted blinds she could make out Bernie's silhouette and a gentle expression played on her features, adjusting her bag strap she stepped forward to open the door.

"Ms Campbell… what do we owe the pleasure?" the words of the older nurse stopped her actions.

"Mr Fairhead," she smiled with a polite nod before gesturing to the door of the office, "I'm here to take Ms Wolfe home… a purely domestic visit. CEO hat left upstairs." She gave him a look indicating she knew of the discomfort the ED staff had been feeling about her frequent visits, and even though they'd been going through some personally difficult times she had reduced her visits to ease their discomfort at Bernie's request.

"I wasn't…" a wave of her hand cut him off.

"I quite appreciate the sentiment Mr Fairhead, and I don't want anyone feeling pressured by my presence so if you'll excuse me I will be out of here before you know it." No further words were needed in the exchange and with a nod Charlie Fairhead headed over to check in on cubicles. Serena rolled her eyes a little before pushing forward into the office. "I heard there was a beautiful woman down here who needed my attention."

"I don't know where she is, but I could sure use a hug." Bernie countered. "Although those awful people out there would probably yell at me and tell me I was going to hell." A questioning expression crossed Serena's features.

"You've lost me, my darling."

"The patient's parents… god they were awful people." She shook her head in disbelief, their words still ringing in her ears. "We put her in a bay next to a pregnant lady who had been brought in, she and her wife were expecting their first baby… and well Kira's parents weren't quiet in their vocal condemnation of how abhorrent they found their lifestyle." Her eyes cast to the floor, the years of indoctrinated homophobia from the military suddenly in the forefront of her mind.

"Oh Bernie." Serena said trying to comfort her, the blonde's distress levels becoming apparent to her. Moving to her she wound her arm gently around her shoulders, pulling her into her.

"I spent half a century hiding who I was… because of people like them." She let out a cry of frustration. "I hate that they felt entitled enough to be so god damn rude."

"I hope someone stood up to them?" Serena asked, her fingers gently massaging Bernie's shoulders.

"I threw them out of the department… quite unceremoniously in fact." She winced as she recalled her actions. "Then yelled at them… the father mainly after he told me he would have thought better of me with my military background."

"What did you say, Bernie?" Serena couldn't help the creep of her CEO hat, formal complaints flashing before her eyes.

"I think my exact words were, 'I don't think my wife would like it if I held those views.'" Serena swallowed, her eyes widening as she heard Bernie refer to her as her wife.

"Wife?" she stuttered out.

"It sounded better in my head than girlfriend… and partner wouldn't have packed the punch it needed. I hope you don't mind." Serena shook her head, still a little dumbfounded.

"I don't mind… has a nice ring to it if you ask me." It was Bernie's turn to look shocked, her eyes flying open and her eyebrows raising. Serena chuckled seeing this. "Don't panic… I'm not getting down on one knee."

"I don't think I'd object if you were." Bernie whispered quietly before capturing Serena's lips on her own in a soft but passionate embrace. When she finally pulled away she felt the anger from the day slip away. "Take me home, please."

"Your wish is my command, Ms Wolfe."

-x-

That evening the fire roared heartily, pushing away the unseasonably cold temperatures of the evening. Wrapped in soft robes Bernie and Serena were curled into one another. The troubles of the day long gone, along with a bottle of the finest shiraz. Bernie had long tuned out from the hum of the television, lost in her own thoughts, her hands drawing lazy patterns on Serena's hip. Snuggling herself closer Serena nestled her head into Bernie's neck. Snaking her hand up under Serena's chin, Bernie tilted it to enable her to kiss her.

"Those two women today were so in love… it made me think of us… and how if life had been different… how we might have been like them." Serena could see Bernie's eyes sparkle, "I thought about how if we had met when we were in our twenties, how I would have loved to have a baby with you. To watch your tummy swell as our little one grew inside you." Bernie breathed out softly, love pouring from her as she held the thought in her head.

"And why would it be my tummy swelling and not yours?" she asked, snuggling into her partner once more. Bernie honked out a laugh, pulling Serena into her by the hip.

"Maybe because I hated being pregnant." She stated matter-of-factly. "and even in an alternate universe I don't even want to imagine going through it. Whereas my darling, you always reminisce so fondly of the time you spent growing Elinor in your tummy." Bernie felt Serena sniff against her chest. "Oh darling, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." She held her tighter, planting soft kisses in her hair whilst internally berating herself for bringing it up.

"It's okay. I did love being pregnant so very much." She moved so her eyes could meet Bernie's, "And I would have loved to have carried our baby had we ever had that chance." Fondness settled in Bernie's eyes as the creases around Serena's eyes became more prominent when her smile that was spreading across her face finally reached her eyes. Serena contemplated quietly for a few moments before speaking again. "Did you really hate being pregnant? You've never told me that before."

"Loathed it…" Bernie replied with some force, before almost looking guilty. "Don't get me wrong, you know I love my kids. And I don't shout it from the roof tops, I didn't need to top off my crap mum of the year nomination by telling them I hated my pregnancies." She shrugged, then exhaled slowly. "Growing up never thought I'd have kids … but I married Marcus and had to fulfil my duty as a wife. We planned Cameron, I did all the things you are supposed to when trying for a baby." She paused looking up to the ceiling, her eyes glassing over at the memories. "When I found out I was pregnant… I cried… not because I was happy but because my life was about to change so much, and I couldn't control it. How awful is that? So many women live their lives desperate for babies they can't have, and I cried because I was having one." Serena gently stroked her fingers over Bernie's abdomen, trying to reassure her and show she wasn't judging her. "Then… my hatred of the whole rigmarole grew as my body changed and strangers suddenly felt that it was okay to touch me and to comment on how big my stomach was. It's just not okay." Serena's fingers froze suddenly, realising what she was doing. Bernie looked down at her as they did, pressing a kiss into her hair. "The 28 hours of labour put the final nail in the coffin that I never planned on repeating the experience."

"But you did…" Serena said, enjoying the new openness she was getting from her usually closed off army medic.

"Oh yes, little Charlotte had other plans for mummy dearest. She wasn't planned. In fact, I was in the middle of a warzone when I found out I was expecting her." She laughed a little, recalling the look on her commanding officers face when they discovered her predicament. "I fainted in the heat one afternoon, my commanding officer insisted on bloods to check me over… I'll never forget the look on his face when he told me I was pregnant. I'd been out there nearly 10 weeks… within 24 hours though I was back in the UK. Marcus was so angry, angrier than I had ever seen him. Yelled at me for being selfish and putting the baby in danger by not realising."

"But that wasn't your fault."

"That isn't how he saw it. Whether it was my fault or not the blame lied squarely with me in his eyes. I don't think he forgave me until I delivered Charlotte and she was perfectly healthy. Alas, it is history now. The kids then grew up with an absentee mother who hid from her husband in warzones because she was a closet lesbian. It is a miracle they aren't more screwed up." Bernie laughed awkwardly.

"They are great kids Bernie, and whether you enjoyed pregnancy or not, you are a great mum… and those kids love you."

"I won't ever be as good a mum as you though." Bernie looked into Serena's eyes, her fingers ghosting down the side of her face. "You ooze motherly affection, and care so deeply… not many people would have taken in their long-lost sister's son in as you did. It is one of the many, _many_ reasons that I love you."

"Even though you don't think you are, you are an excellent mother. I could tell when they were here how much your cubs love their Mummy Wolfe." A blush rose on Bernie's cheeks, making her curl her face down into Serena's hair to try and disguise it. Taking the opportunity Serena softened her tone. "And this Mummy Wolfe needs to let her cubs know that she is going in to hospital in a few days." She felt Bernie sigh into her hair before she pulled back to look at her, her face crinkling. "They shouldn't hear about it from someone else, or afterwards. You know how awful Jason is with keeping things quiet and he'll be back before you go in."

"You are right, and I will tell them."

True to her word that evening Bernie broached the subject of her looming surgery with both of her children. Charlotte had cried on the phone, not small tears either but truly heart wrenching sobs, it had taken Bernie nearly an hour of soft reassurances before she had calmed enough for her to feel happy about ending the call. Whereas, with his medical training, Cameron took a more measured approach to the news and had started to lecture her on the importance of good post-operative care before she'd cut him off, stating that Serena had nagged her quite enough about that already. During the calls both children promised to come and visit as soon as they could and had told their mother they loved her.


	11. Chapter 11

Bernie was in a particularly playful mood the morning of her surgery, Serena put it down to nerves initially but now she wasn't sure, but all the time Bernie was smiling, she was happy. "Will you still like my boobs even if they are wonky?" Bernie chirped up, a wicked glint in her eyes. Not for the first time that morning Serena rolled her eyes.

"Yes. I'll always like them. Even if they are wonky." She punctuated each sentence with a kiss to Bernie's lips.

"What about…" Bernie pursed her lips, her eyes heading skyward in thought as she tried to think of yet another question about Serena's liking of her breasts.

"Will you just stop." Serena laughed heartily, before looking more serious. "Whilst I have a great fondness for your chest, they aren't important." Her hand raised and rested gently against Bernie's cheek. "You are. So, if you are healthy and well at the end of all of this, I really don't care what your chest looks like." Tracing her hand down Bernie's cheek, she took her hand in her own and lifted it to her own lips, kissing it gently. Bernie smiled from ear to ear as she did. Her eyes flicked from Serena to the porters being pointed in the direction of her room, guessing they were coming for her she looked back to Serena.

"I love you. Don't drink too much coffee whilst I am under and try and eat something. I've asked Fletch to check in on you." Squeezing her hand tighter she leant up and placed a deep kiss upon Serena's lips, moaning softly into the embrace as Serena responded.

"I love you, my darling." She spoke as they parted, tucking an unruly piece of blonde hair behind her partner's ear. "I'll be with you when you wake up, I promise."

"How are you going to do that? We don't let relatives into recovery." Bernie poked her tongue out cheekily.

"Being CEO has some perks, darling." A flirtatious wink followed and after a quick kiss they were on the move. Serena held tightly to Bernie's hand until they reached the theatre doors. The trolley coming to a stop to allow them to say a final goodbye.

"Ms Campbell, this… err… this is as far as you can go." The uncomfortable words of the nurse broke the silence that had encapsulated them. Bernie's eyes shot to the nurse, a mischievous grin on her face.

"Did you enjoy that? Telling your boss that she couldn't do something?"

"Bernie!" the humorous indignation was evident in Serena's voice before she looked to the nurse apologetically before her eyes tracked back to Bernie. "Right you," she leant down and kissed her again, not caring people were witnessing the intimate moment. "Behave yourself and I'll see you on the other side."

"See you on the other side." She squeezed Serena's hand tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too." When the trolley began to move once more Serena stayed perfectly still, allowing their hands to slip apart. Raising her fingers to her lips she ghosted over the spot where Bernie's lips had met moments before, praying once again that Bernie would be okay.

Serena was certain the clock had stilled to a grinding halt whilst Bernie was in theatre. The time seeming unending. She'd managed to eat a little after her body had protested at going several hours without any sustenance and had only had one cup of coffee. Now she was hovering at the nurse's desk in the recovery suite once more. Bernie had been right about relatives not being allowed in there, but none of the staff were about to question the CEO, even if her sudden interest in the post-operative notes of a Mr Matthew Manning was a little peculiar. When a messy haired blonde had been wheeled into the room, still attached to a ventilator, tubes and wires everywhere, she went ghostly white colour at the sight. The observant ward sister scooped her arm around her back and guided her to a nearby chair "Ms Campbell," the ward sister said softly. "You looked like you were about to faint. Are you feeling okay?" But Serena didn't hear her, she had tuned into the theatre nurse transferring the patient's care. Feeling a squeeze to her arm, her focus shifted to the sister, an understanding look on her face. "I'd seen Bernie was on the list for today. But she is still in theatre." Her smiled was sympathetic as Serena looked once again over to the blonde woman she now knew wasn't Bernie. "Why don't you go and get yourself another drink, and I will page you as soon as she is through? Okay?" Serena smiled gratefully.

"Thank you…" rising to her feet carefully, she slipped from the ward. Once outside she leaned back against the wall and took huge gulping breaths of air.

Bernie felt like she was swimming through a fog as the first noises met her ears after surgery. She could make out voices, her eyes flickering open before closing once more, her eyes too heavy and the lights too bright to keep them open. The nurse by her side nodding to the ward sister to page Serena and checking her notes before gently stroking her arm, "Bernie, you're in recovery. The surgery is all over. Can you open your eyes for me?" The only response made was some incoherent babble. Her reaching for the mask and trying to pull it from her face. "It's just an oxygen mask, you need to keep it on for me. I'm just going to sit you up some more." Once elevated into a more upright position Bernie let out a hiss as her pain receptors suddenly started to function. "Are you in pain?" Getting a nodded response, she scanned the notes once more. "They gave you morphine in theatre, but I can give you a gram of IV paracetamol now. That should take the edge off it." It didn't take long for the nurse to have indicated what she needed to a colleague and push it through Bernie's IV. With a murmur about being tired Bernie closed her eyes once more allowing tiredness to overtake her once more.

Serena had run back to the recovery suite as fast as her feet would carry her when she got the news that Bernie was out of surgery. She'd bumped into several people on her way and yelled apologies back to them whilst still running. Once at Bernie's side she had thanked the ward sister for doing as she'd said and listened carefully to them explain Bernie had briefly come around before falling asleep once more.

When she started to come around again Bernie heard a familiar voice and a sleepy smile flickered over her features. "There shouldn't have been a need for a drain… it was a simple procedure…" Serena was checking through Bernie's post-operative notes, scrutinising every decision that had been made in theatre.

"It's precautionary, Serena." Came the measured words of Sacha Levy. "There was a bit of bleeding and I decided a drain was going to help reduce swelling and bruising. It will mean Ms Wolfe will need to stay here a couple of days longer than expected, but overall it will expedite her recovery." He then turned his attention to Bernie's recovery nurse. "I'd like hourly recordings of the drain output to be charted. I'll review the frequency later. Bleep me if anything in her condition changes." He squeezed Serena's arm as he turned to leave. "I have another surgery, but I will check on her when I am out. She's going to be fine." Serena gave him a smile, placing Bernie's note down and nodding, knowing she was panicking and needn't be. Standing beside her bed she laced her fingers carefully through Bernie's rhythmically stroking her hand with her thumb.

Slowly Bernie's eyes started to flutter open, taking a while to slowly adjust to the bright lights of the recovery suite. Once finally able to see her eyes rested immediately on Serena. "Hello you." She spoke with a croaky voice, swallowing a few times to try and soothe her sore throat. Intuitively Serena reached for the water at the same time as the nurse, giving a small nod of thanks when the nurse gestured for her to take it.

"Hello, my darling, here have some water." Helping her move her oxygen mask and guiding the straw to her lips a content sigh left her Serena's mouth. Her eyes didn't leave Bernie's face as she studied her features carefully, checking for any signs of pain or discomfort.

"Thank you." A low hum then left her lips, them curling into a drowsy smile. "I'm tired."

"You rest my darling." Stroking Bernie's hair back from her face soothingly, she looked at the nurse who was keener to rouse Bernie and shook her head. "Five minutes more won't hurt her."

"Five minutes, but then we need Ms Wolfe to wake up. It's important we get her stats stabilising and her on her way to the ward." The nurse stated. Serena nodded, this was the part she wasn't used to as a consultant, she shipped them out of her theatre and into the recovery room and rarely saw the patient again until they were compos mentis back on the ward. She had to allow the nurses whom she entrusted with this kind of care every day to do their jobs.


	12. Chapter 12

Ever the doting partner Serena had attended to Bernie's every need over the past 24 hours, going so far that she at times made a nuisance of herself and got in the way of the trembling hospital staff. It was bad enough for them to be treating a senior consultant, let alone with the added pressure of the CEO checking their every movement, chart and observation. Without realising it Serena had become somewhat neurotic about Bernie's care, unconsciously recalling that it had been Jasmine's one little mistake that had contributed to Elinor's untimely death and she wasn't about to allow that to happen again. When for the fifth time in an hour Serena shone a light in her eyes Bernie had decided Serena needed to get away from the hospital. Expressing a desire for one of Serena's homemade moussakas and her favourite hoodie Bernie had got Serena to reluctantly leave the hospital, on the proviso that Bernie text her immediately if she wanted her to come back. She had felt bad about sending her away initially but the relief she could see on the F1's face when she came to take a set of obs and found Bernie alone told her she had done the right thing for herself, Serena and the staff.

Bernie spent the remainder of the afternoon drifting in and out of sleep. Sound asleep is exactly how her daughter found her when they came to visit that evening. Although both her and Cameron had agreed they would wait to visit Bernie until she was back at home, Charlotte had been unable to wait, needing to see with her own eyes that her mother was okay. Creeping into the room she placed her large holdall carefully at the end of the bed and slipped into the chair beside her mother. She glanced around at the different machines bleeping, then the tubes attached to her mother. Her limited medical knowledge and understanding of what everything was panicking her. She surmised from all the hospital programmes she watched though that the absence of any loud alarms meant there was nothing to be immediately concerned by and she settled down quietly to wait until she woke.

A few minutes passed before the door to her mother's room was slowly pushed open to reveal her mother's partner, Bernie's hoodie thrown over her arm and a dish of food in her hand. "Hello. I wasn't expecting to find you in here… I thought you weren't visiting until the weekend." A warm smile lit her face as she whispered quietly so as not to wake Bernie, popping down the contents of her hands before opening her arms to invite the young girl in for a hug, which she gratefully received. Although Charlotte had found coming to terms with the revelation her mother was a lesbian difficult, she had grown very fond of Serena in the time she had known her and knew that she made her mum happier than she had ever been before. Charlotte smiled coyly as she pulled back, her eyes flitting over to her mother.

"I needed to see she was okay for myself." She paused for a moment before sighing a little. "I know she text to say she was okay, but after the IED she told Cameron and I on the phone that she was fine, when in fact she had a broken neck and was recovering from heart surgery. Mum's version of okay and mine aren't really the same thing." Serena nodded knowingly, her arm still wrapped around Charlotte's back, the young girl instinctively leaning in to the embrace.

"She'd have just wanted to protect you both then, but really she is fine. I wouldn't have gone home for a while if she wasn't." Charlotte nodded slightly.

"I've always just preferred to know what's what though… Walking in here and seeing all these machines and stuff panicked me a bit… I don't understand it all like Cameron does." Serena thought for a moment, wondering if Bernie would object to the thoughts formulating in her mind.

"All of this is because she has had a general… it'll all go by morning hopefully… But would you like me to explain what all of this is?" She gestured to the monitors and machines. "And perhaps explain a little more about what your mum had done? I'm sure she won't mind." Serena really hoped she wouldn't as right now an explanation is exactly what her daughter needed.

"Is that okay? I don't want to be a nuisance." Dismissing her concerns about being a nuisance Serena set about explaining exactly what all the machines attached to Bernie were doing, taking the time to show her on the monitors what each reading was and explaining the normal ranges. It was as she was telling Charlotte about the surgery that Bernie began to stir, a smile spreading across her face as she heard not one, but two familiar voices.

"Isn't this a nice surprise to wake up to." She said as her eyes opened, her blinking rapidly adjusting to the light in the room. Pausing their conversation Serena leant in and caught Bernie's lips with her own.

"Hello sleepy head. Feeling okay? Any pain?" Bernie shook her head.

"Feeling fine, no pain." Her eyes moved from Serena to her daughter who was hanging back apprehensively. "Hello Lottie." Charlotte gave her mum a small smile, taking a hesitant step closer to the bed.

"Hi mum." She said quietly, unable to form any more words. Realising the reason for her being here wasn't going to be forthcoming now her mother was awake Serena squeezed Bernie's hand and reached for Charlotte.

"I've just been giving Charlotte a little medical lesson, teaching her what all these monitors are showing us. It would seem she needed to see for her self that her mum was in one piece." Glancing around at her own monitors Bernie nodded.

"Still alive. I've not popped off the mortal coil yet…"

"Don't!" Charlotte snapped quickly, before her voice lowered. "Please don't joke about that, Mum." She reached for her mother's hand, clinging to it tightly in her own as tears built in her eyes.

"Hey… shh…" Bernie's face contorted to one of panic upon seeing her daughter get upset, releasing her hand from Serena's she pulled Charlotte to her, holding her tightly to her chest. Although not close to her daughter Bernie was able to tell something more than her being in hospital was causing this in Charlotte, neither of her children having inherited her ability to bury the truth from those around them. "Lottie… what's the matter?"

"Oh, it's nothing, Mum." Charlotte said, pulling back from her mother, still clutching her hand tightly. "I've just been worried about you."

"Peach stones…" Bernie raised her eyebrows at her daughter, a 'I know you're lying' look painted across her face. Charlotte's shoulders sagged, her eyes fixing themselves firmly on the floor.

"Dad and I had a huge fight… he was so horrible, Mum… he said…" Tears bubbled in Charlotte's eyes, her head shaking in disbelief as her father's words played through her head again.

"Lottie… what did he say?"

"He said… that he… oh God Mum I don't want to tell you. I didn't know he could be so cruel." Bernie couldn't help but feel that she knew exactly how cruel Marcus was able to be, after all during their divorce he'd successfully managed to manipulate everything to paint her as an awful wife and mother. The whole experience leaving her very bitter towards her former husband.

"Sadly, I do… I don't want this eating you up on the inside Lottie… please tell me." Her thumb traced lightly over her daughter's knuckles in an attempt to soothe her.

"I told him you weren't well… and he said he hoped you'd die, that he wished you'd died when the IED blew you up because then you'd have never blown our lives apart." The words came out of Charlotte's mouth barely above a whisper, the very notion her father could say that about her mother sickening her. During their exchange Serena had quietly remained at the foot of her bed but at Charlotte's words she couldn't help but gasp audibly.

"That man!" Bernie shook her head at Serena, pulling Charlotte closer to her. Moving up the bed Serena ran her hand over Charlotte's back in a movement to match Bernie's, her other hand stroking the outside of Bernie's thigh.

"That's utterly despicable. It can't have been nice to hear that from your father." Sitting up Charlotte shook her head, using her palm to wipe away the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"No… we yelled at each other for a while after that and I then packed my bag and left…" Serena then clocked the large bag on the floor, before looking again to Charlotte.

"So that is what this bag is…" Charlotte nodded her head shyly. "Where are you going to stay tonight?" She asked, her eyes meeting Bernie's both women sharing the same concern.

"I hadn't figured that one out… one of my friend's sofas probably." The young blonde shrugged her shoulders, it wasn't the first time she'd found herself in an argument with her father and not staying at the house. It was just the first time she'd come to see her mother after such an incidence.

"You will do no such thing!" Serena blurted out. "You will stay at our house." she went on, in an insistent tone. "We have plenty of space, the guest room is yours for as long as you need it."

"Are you sure? I er… I don't know how long it would be for." Serena didn't even need to ask Bernie for confirmation that this was alright with her, her eyes were sparkling at the thought of being under the same roof as her daughter again.

"If it needs to become long term or even permanent then the guest room shall simply become your room." She held Bernie's hand in her own. "We would never see one of our children without somewhere to call home." In that moment Bernie didn't think she could be more in love with Serena, hearing her refer to the children as theirs made her heart swell with love. Serena's huge heart pouring out endless love and compassion. Charlotte was stunned as the generosity being shown to her, it hadn't been what she expected at all when she arrived here. Overcome with emotion she flung her arms around both women, all three of them ending up in an awkward three-way hug.

"Thank you… both of you…" the gratitude in her voice was plain.

"As Serena said my darling girl, you'll always have a home with us if you need it." Bernie spoke tenderly.

"Now though it does somewhat complicate my plan for tonight…" At Serena's words Bernie's brow furrowed.

"And what was that plan Ms Campbell?"

"Well I didn't plan on leaving the hospital." She said, her cheeks pinking. Bernie shook her head with a small laugh.

"As CEO you should know that unless I am under 18, which I'm not… I am not allowed any overnight visitors."

"But… being CEO means no one would boot me out." Serena grinned mischievously before looking to Charlotte. "However, as long as you promise to call me if you need me, I will take Charlotte home and stay there with her until morning when I'm sure we'll both be back." Both of the blondes nodded their agreement to Serena's words.


	13. Chapter 13

It was the middle of the night and Connie had been awake for nearly three hours now. Sam slept soundly beside her, his steady breathing providing her with some comfort through her insomnia. She hadn't been sleeping well recently, despite how exhausted she felt all the time. Shifting uncomfortably, she pulled the covered tighter around her prompting Sam to wake slightly. "You okay?" He whispered enveloping her in his arms. She murmured wanting to indicate to him that she was but having no energy to reply in spoken words. As she felt his arms tighten around her middle she bit her lip trying to suppress the discomfort it was causing her. Her whole body hurt, her skin itched painfully and despite how much she wanted to be held it seemed to make things worse. As she felt the familiar feeling of bile rising within her she wriggled free of his arms and made her way to the bathroom.

It was some hours later when she awoke to find herself slumped on the cold porcelain floor, the tiles cooling her clammy skin as her eyes began to open. Pain seared through her body as she hauled herself into a sitting position, finding herself once bringing up the contents of her stomach.

"Con, are you in there?" Gently he pushed the door open as he heard the retching, dropping to his knees by her side rubbing her back gently. As the wave passed he carefully lifted her so she was cradled in his arms. "I've got you, it's okay." He whispered, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head as she began to cry. He hated seeing her like this, he felt powerless to help, but he knew she needed him now more than ever.

"Sorry." She whispered against him, she didn't enjoy showing any signs of weakness, but the grueling effects of chemotherapy currently gave her little choice in the matter.

He heard the soft padding of feet along the hall as he lifted Connie to their bed. "Grace." was all she could manage to get out as she too heard the familiar noise. He smiled in understanding, she continued to not allow Grace to see her bald and at her weakest. She desperately wanted to protect her daughter from the true horrors of her treatment and Sam respected that, even if he didn't always agree with her. He lifted her head slightly from the pillow sliding one of her many beautiful scarfs on before their daughter entered the room. She smiled in thanks as she settled back against the pillows and curled into the warmth of the covers once more.

"Morning" the youngest Beauchamp said as she put her head around the bedroom door, waiting for permission to enter the room fully.

"Morning Gracie, why don't you come and get into bed beside your mum whilst I pop out for a few minutes." She didn't need asking twice as she bounded towards the bed and leapt up beside her mum. She placed a gentle kiss on her mother's pale cheek before snuggling in beside her. Sam looked on at his two beloved girls together before he descended the stairs, he didn't like the thought of leaving them both, but the need to pick up Connie's latest prescription was too great.

Snuggling together Connie held her daughter close, stroking her hair. "Are we still going out today? Shopping for new clothes for us like you promised last week?" said Grace. The expectancy in her daughter's eyes broke Connie's heart as she looked at her. She remembered promising Grace that they would have a day out shopping prior to her last hospital visit. After the first two rounds of chemotherapy she hadn't felt too ill so thought it would have been fine, but she'd underestimated the impact the build up of drugs in her system would have.

She mustered some energy and reached for her daughter's hand. "Daddy can take you. I'm going to have to stay here today. I'm..." suddenly she felt bile rise within her once more, clasping her hand across her mouth she heaved herself upwards. Immediately Grace grabbed a bowl from beside the bed and held it for her mother, gently stroking her back as she was sick. "It's okay mummy," she soothed, she held her mother tighter as she began to weep, "Don't cry, I'm here to help look after you."

As wave after wave of sickness over took her body Connie couldn't help but cry, she hated that Grace was seeing this, but she was thankful all the same that she was not alone. It took ten minutes for the sickness to pass, by the time it did Connie was exhausted once more. She slumped back on the pillows, only managing a very weak smile towards her daughter as she did. "You sleep now Mummy, I'll still be here when you wake up." Grace's words were soft as she held her mother's hand.

Only once she was certain Connie was sleeping did Grace slip from the room, padding softly down the stairs. She brushed away the tears that fell fiercely from her eyes. She had never been so scared in her life as she was watching her mother. The true extent of her illness finally obvious to Grace. At that moment Sam walked through the door, seeing his daughter concern etched itself on his face. "Hey, what's up?"

"Mummy's just been really sick. Daddy, it was so scary. I stayed with her, but I was so scared. She's sleeping now." Making his way to his daughter her held her tightly in his arms.

"Well done for staying with her. Are you okay?" She shook her head as she crumbled into him as she wept.

"She's so poorly, Daddy." Sam sighed, wrapping his arms even tighter around her.

"It's hard to understand Gracie, but the medicine making her this sick will make her better in the long run." The young girl nodded.

"I read about it… but it doesn't make it easier."

"That I agree with. Seeing her this poorly is horrid, but she wouldn't want to see you this upset. You go into the sitting room and watch a film, I'll go and see that she is okay?"

Making his way up the stairs and into their bedroom Sam found Connie wide awake. She smiled weakly at him, hauling herself into more of an upright position. "I have something to say Sam, and you have to listen to me and do as I say." She watched as Sam sat beside her and nodded. "Today you are to leave me here, and take Grace into town. I want you to spoil her rotten, to buy her anything she wants and make her forget what she witnessed this morning. She needs to be a child again, to enjoy herself and not worry about what is happening to me."

"Con, you need someone here with you." He said, trying to mask the sigh that slipped from his lips.

"I'm taken care of, I've just spoken to Charlie and Duffy, they are going to come over. Grace needs this Sam." Sam couldn't disagree with her. Their daughter really did need a day where she was the number one priority. He nodded gently.

"Okay. But you phone me if you need me, okay?"

"I won't need you, but I promise to ring if I do."


	14. Chapter 14

The following 48 hours were filled with peaks and troughs as Bernie's body dealt with the after effects of surgery. Stoic as ever the blonde initially hadn't been keen to give into the need for pain relief despite her bodies protests but was eventually talked round after it was pointed out she was just setting herself back in her recovery by every consultant, nurse and auxiliary that came into contact with her. Despite imploring her to go home to rest Serena had not left the hospital grounds for more than a few hours since Bernie's admittance, only popping home to check on Charlotte, gather some clean clothing and collect food for Bernie, who was insistent that the hospital food was far worse than the rice and beans she'd had to once live on for a week in the desert whilst on tour.

In the early morning light Bernie twisted herself in her bed so she could be looking fully at Serena who was curled at somewhat of an awkward angle in a reclining chair at her bedside, the brunette's closed eyes and soft snores confirming to Bernie she was still fast asleep. A tender smile played over the blonde's lips at the sight of Serena in the teal scrubs of AAU, scrubs she'd always been fond of seeing her partner in, but knew she herself hated them. Studying her face, she saw how the darkness around her eyes had become more prominent in the past few days, a sign that sleeping at her bedside was beginning to take its toll. Sighing heavily to herself she knew attempting to cajole the brunette into going home would be futile, but she hated to see that her extended stay at the hospital was having a negative impact on the woman she loves. The soft creek of the door broke her from her own thoughts, twisting quickly she placed her finger to her lips, a bid to keep the entering nurse as quite as possible. "Please don't wake her." She whispered pleadingly. Lou shook her head softly.

"I'll try not to." She whispered back. Quietly Lou checked Bernie's obs and administered her morning medications.

"Any idea when I can get out of here? I want to take this one home." Her eyes glanced to Serena before looking back to the drain bottle that Lou was examining. The nurse drew her lips into a thin line, shaking her head slightly.

"I'll see what I can find out for you. What I do know is that I'm going to get this taken out. That'll make you more comfortable." Scribbling notes into Bernie's chart she then looked back to the blonde. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to buzz." With that she left the room.

The soft click of the door stirred Serena from her sleep, her eyes adjusting to the sun's rays she gazed up at the hazel eyes which were looking once again in her direction. "Morning… how long have you been awake?" With a lazy smile the blonde flicked her eyes to the clock before looking back to Serena.

"Half an hour or so…

"You should have woken me."

"No… you looked peaceful. I didn't want to wake you… Anyway, I was admiring you in those." She flicked her hand out to gesture Serena's scrubs.

"I hate wearing scrubs as you know… but they are not too uncomfortable to sleep in."

"They are comfortable, I keep a pair at home for nights when pyjamas are needed. Not that those nights come around very often." The overexaggerated wink she gave caused both herself and the brunette to cackle with laughter.

"Behave!" Serena croaked out, leaning herself forward to capture Bernie's lips against her own. She hummed softly against the other woman's lips before pulling away. "I have a meeting with the board this morning, so I'm going to get showered and sorted. I'll come and sit with you after the meeting though." Kissing her again Serena departed the room, leaving Bernie to her own devices.

Later that morning Bernie's post-operative drain was removed, and she'd persuaded Sacha that any further healing that was needed could be accommodated in her own home. She'd pointed out that she would have a world class surgeon at her beck and call, attending to her every whim and that had sealed the deal. If she were honest she was feeling a little smug with herself, the other consultant bending to her desires very quickly. The threat of discharging against medical advice not even having to be used. Getting dressed into her own clothing had proved more of a challenge. Wriggling into skin tight jeans whilst trying not to pop a stitch was an interesting experience, but she refused to ring for help, refusing to admit defeat. Eventually, entirely out of puff she sunk down into the chair fully dressed.

It was only moments later that Jason's face appeared at the window. A broad smile adorning his face. The smile was catching and soon spread across Bernie's too as she beckoned him in. "Jason, it is nice of you to visit me." Upon entering the room, he walked across to the bed holding out a brown paper bag.

"Did you know Bernie the giving of grapes to the sick stems from Roman times? They believed them to contain a healing chemical. Although scientists now know it to be untrue, the tradition continues. So, I brought you some grapes." He plonked them on the table in front of Bernie and gave her a wide smile.

"Thank you, Jason. That is very thoughtful of you."

"When will you be coming home? A new episode of World's Strongest Man is on tomorrow night, and Greta does not enjoy it. I would like to watch it with you. Auntie Serena does not like it and I don't think Charlotte will appreciate it either." Bernie smiled, adjusting herself in the chair.

"Tonight… But don't say anything to Auntie Serena if you see her before me… I haven't told her yet." Jason nodded an affirmative before he and Bernie continued their conversations. The pair finding ease in conversing with one another despite their normal difficulties with words. The easy beat of conversation derived from factual discussions as opposed to those of feelings.

It had come as quite a shock to Bernie in the early days of hers and Serena's relationship that her own relationship with Jason came so easily when she'd never had the same ease with her own children. Now she came to reflect that it was probably because she was no longer trying to suppress who she truly was, no longer trying to form a bond based around a partially fabricated version of herself. It was these realisations, along with Serena's support that had led to the reformation of her relationships with her own children. The bond between mother and children stronger than they'd ever been and continuing to build in strength every day.


	15. Chapter 15

"I think we can escape for a while whilst they sort your discharge papers, don't you?" Serena said with a little wink, holding out her hand to Bernie. It was late afternoon now, and the pair were waiting for the final arrangements to be made for Bernie's discharge before they could leave. Receiving a nod in response Serena carefully helped Bernie to her feet. Keeping her arm hooked in Bernie's she gently guided her to the lift. "I thought we could find some peace on the roof. It's been a while since we found ourselves up there together." The last time in fact having just before Serena left Holby, when Bernie had discovered her drunk partner in the middle of her shift sipping Shiraz. The night Bernie had felt her heart break when Serena had told her she needed to leave. Bernie's mind flitted from the memories back to the present and holding tighter to Serena's arm before nodding.

The final few steps from where the lift left them to the roof door took Bernie longer than usual, but the whole time Serena stood at her side, an arm gently laid around her back. Stepping out of the door Bernie allowed the cool spring air to fill her lungs. It was the first time in several days she had been outside, something she was not used to especially after spending most of her adult life under canvas in foreign deserts.

It was obvious to Bernie that something wasn't quite right with Serena, she was more jittery than usual, it reminded Bernie of how she was after their first kiss. The nervousness in her partner was proving to be quite unsettling for the blonde, and she furrowed her brow before beckoning her partner towards her. "Serena… come here. I need a cuddle." Serena's eyes lit up at Bernie's request, she was only too happy to oblige. It amused her how cuddly her big macho army medic could be behind closed doors. Ensuring she held her on the right side she gladly encased Bernie in her arms. "I like it up here. It's peaceful but you can watch what is going on below." Carefully she moved them, so they were peering over the edge to the ground far below. "Also, a good location for a cheeky cigarette."

"I know." Her eyes flitted sadly across to where she would stand when everything got too much after Elinor's death, although the physical evidence of her hours stood there smoking were now gone the memories remained. "But neither of us will be doing it again…" her eyes grew stern as she looked up to Bernie. The stern look she was being given made Bernie screw up her face like a petulant child before honking out a laugh.

"I haven't… not for a long time, you know that."

"Although you keep a packet just in case." Raising her eyebrows and smirking at Bernie's expression she continued. "Oh yes Ms Wolfe. Don't think I don't know about the packet tucked in your bedside drawer."

"But I haven't smoked them." Bernie retorted, much like she did the day Serena found her outside the entrance to Wyvern with an unlit cigarette in her mouth. Stroking Bernie's cheek she got on her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on her temple. The gentle patter of conversation between them had calmed the nervous energy that had been coursing around Serena's body. Whilst slipping one hand into her jacket pocket she moved herself, so she was facing Bernie front on, gently pecking her lips before gazing deeply into her eyes.

"When we were last on this roof together you asked me if there was room in my future for you… at the time I couldn't give you any more assurance than I hope so." Bernie swallowed audibly at Serena's words, but gave a small smile of encouragement that gave Serena the courage to continue. "But since that night, I have come to realise, that a future without you by my side is not one I wish to consider. I intend to spend the rest of my life with you if you'll have me." She laughed a little as Bernie screwed up her nose in jest, before continuing, her thumbs brushing over Bernie's hands as she held them. "You are my best friend, the first person I think of in the morning and the last person I think of at night, you are my partner in everything and I never want to be without you…" Seeing Bernie about to interrupt she gently placed her finger on her partner's lips. "Let me finish. Recently you referred to me as your wife, and I know it was because you say you are too old to have a girlfriend… but I liked it… and what I am trying to say is… Berenice Griselda Wolfe… will you do me the greatest honour of agreeing to be my wife?" with that, out of her pocket she produced a ring box. Sat within the plush velvet interior was a simple platinum band set with 6 small diamonds. Tears sparkled in Bernie's eyes as she pulled Serena towards her, crushing her lips upon hers. It was a few minutes before she drew back for breath and gave Serena her answer.

"Yes… a thousand times yes." As they held their embrace, the tears tumbled down Bernie's cheeks. Her whole-body thrumming with happiness and love as she held Serena tightly in her arms. Once their lips had parted she buried her face into her lover's neck, nuzzling in close and mumbling her love for her into her skin.


	16. Chapter 16

"You know you rather ruined my plan Campbell." Bernie sighed softly into Serena's shoulder as they descended in the lift back to the ward, her eyes fixed on the engagement ring that sat proudly on her finger. Feeling the twist in Serena's head and catching the inquisitive glance she received out of the corner of her eye Bernie let out a small laugh. "I always thought I'd be the one to ask… but I'm so glad you did… it makes me feel so exceptionally loved." An immediate smile danced its way across Serena's face, her eyes sparkling.

"You are very loved, Bernie. Loved far more than you will ever realise." Shyly shaking her head Bernie once again buried her face into Serena's hair, mumbling her love for her.

Their hands slipped into one another's as they exited the lift and re-entered the ward, Serena's empty hand reaching up to cup Bernie's cheek when she felt her hand tighten around her own. "Are you okay, my darling?"

"What do you think Cameron and Charlotte will say?" Bernie asked tentatively, worry evident on her face.

"Ah." A soft smile flickered over Serena's lips. "Well my darling, your little Wolfe cubs may already know it was in the offing. I had to be sure your cubs were happy with me asking their mummy if I could marry her." Bernie felt tears well into her eyes at Serena's thoughtfulness. "They were both overjoyed and hoped you said yes."

"I don't deserve you."

"That is where you are very wrong, you deserve the world."

Unable to formulate a response Bernie once again squeezed Serena's hands tightly, her face flushing pink. Over the months they'd been together Bernie had become to be more open with her emotions, but she still found taking compliments from anyone nearly impossible. Reaching her room, she smiled seeing her discharge papers sat on the table beside her bed, feeling a sense of relief that she would finally be going home.

Arriving back at their leafy detached home Bernie sighed contently, inside was her daughter whom she was growing so close to once more. She couldn't wait to share with her the news that she had agreed to become Serena's wife.

"Come on you… time to get you inside. You may have been allowed home, but you still need to be looked after, you have had major surgery and need rest."

"Oh?" Bernie quirked her eyebrows seductively. "I can think of some ways you can look after me." Serena rolled her eyes dramatically.

"And there will be none of that Ms Wolfe, until you are fully recovered." A dramatic huff from Bernie caused a ripple of laughter to leave Serena's mouth. "You are incorrigible! Inside now!" Helping her new fiancée from the car Serena carried her bag over one shoulder whilst keeping her other arm wrapped around Bernie's back. Before they reached it, the front door flung over to revel two beaming faces.

"Cam! Lottie! Oh, you're both here." Bernie couldn't help but beam from ear to ear at the sight of both her children together, it was a sight she didn't think she would ever tire of after all the time she had spent away from them over the years. Both children rushed towards their mother, slowing before they reached her so as not to hurt her. Graciously Serena stepped aside and allowed Bernie to be guided into the house by her children as she followed with the bags.

Later that evening whilst Serena and Cameron busied themselves in the kitchen preparing dinner for them all, Bernie requested Charlotte joined her upstairs for a few moments.

Retrieving a ring box from the old-fashioned jewellery box she kept at the bottom of her wardrobe Bernie smiled over her shoulder to Charlotte. Opening the box with care, she looked over the glistening diamond set perfectly in the centre of six diamond leaves leading into a platinum band. It was much more elaborate than the one that sat on her own finger, but it was so very Serena. "Charlotte," Bernie said nervously, "would you mind terribly if I gave this ring to Serena… it's the one I've always imagined proposing to her with… I know it was grandma's bu…" Before she could finish she was cut off by her daughter.

"And before that it was her mother's engagement ring. I know that ring is special to you Mum and I think it's perfect. Serena will love it."

"You don't mind?" Charlotte gently shook her head.

"A family heirloom is the perfect way to officially welcome Serena into the Wolfe pack. Are you going to give it to her tonight?"

"I… I hadn't really thought about it… Do you think I should?" Suddenly Charlotte as wrapping her arms carefully around her mother from behind.

"I think she needs to know you had already picked out the ring to ask her to marry you with… that my mother, who is rubbish at expressing her feelings has been thinking about marrying her before she asked you." Once again Bernie's faced flushed a deep crimson. She turned her head to kiss Charlotte's temple, letting out a soft sigh once she had.

"What did I do to deserve such a wonderful daughter?" This time it was Charlotte's turn to blush, her burying her own face into her mother's shoulder. Almost immediately Bernie felt her daughter begin to shake against her, tilting Charlotte's chin her face dropped seeing tears tumbling down her daughter's cheeks. "Hey, what's this about?"

"Sorry." Letting out a loud sniff she wiped furiously at her own eyes before confiding in her mother just how worried she had been and how scared she'd felt seeing her so unwell in the hospital. Allowing her daughter to curl into her both women remained where they were until Serena's voice could be heard calling them for dinner. Before being helped up by Charlotte Bernie snapped closed the ring box and slipped it into her pocket, a smile lighting up her face at the thought of placing it on Serena's finger.


	17. Chapter 17

Having decided to allow Bernie and Charlotte some time alone when they slipped upstairs Serena headed out into her beloved garden. Following the meandering path which wound its way through her flowerbeds towards the secluded summer house at the bottom of the garden she sighed contently. She'd always loved being in her garden and enjoyed the peace and tranquillity of the place after chaotic shifts at the hospital and she managed to find peace in her garden after her return to Holby following Elinor's death. Settling herself down on a bench beside a lavender pink rose bush, she visibly relaxed before speaking barely above a whisper.

"She said yes Ellie, I asked Bernie to marry me and she said yes." Tears began to tumble down her cheeks as she sat talking to her daughter, sharing with her all that had happened that day. Although she had lost her faith some years before Serena still found comfort in talking to Elinor, choosing to do so mainly in her garden by the rose bush she'd planted with some of Elinor's ashes. It was there she felt closest to her daughter, memories of a young Elinor playing happily in the garden always there as a comfort of the happy times they spent together.

She wasn't aware of how much time had passed when the honeyed tones of Bernie's voice calling her name cut through the silence of the garden. She now stood leaning against the fence at the end of the garden overlooking the fields, wild deer crossing the field in the distance. Gently Bernie wound her arms around her fiancées middle, nosing at Serena's neck. Her actions forcing Serena to tilt her head to the side, giving the blonde better access to the length of her neck and allowing her to leave a trail of hot wet kisses from her shoulder to her ear, the delicious moans her actions enticed from Serena only gave her fuel to continue. Without pause she continued her onslaught, nipping the lobe of her lover's ear, then mirroring the same action along her shoulder. Finally drawing an end to her endeavours Bernie tightened her hold on Serena. "I love you, and I can't wait to call you my wife." She paused momentarily as she realised her fiancées eyes were a little puffy. "Are you okay?" Serena nodded, her eyes fluttering shut as she leant back into Bernie.

"Fine. I was just…" she exhaled slowly, summoning the courage to continue. "I was talking to Ellie… even though I know logically she can't hear me, I like to tell her when important things happen." A flicker of a smile crossed her lips and she leant back to kiss Bernie. "I was telling her about today." Bernie's eyes closed, and she nodded with a smile.

"I… I understand that…" she placed another kiss on her bare shoulder.

"I wish Elinor had been able to understand how happy you make me… how content and love I feel when I'm with you."

"Given time I'm sure she'd have come to understand. But she was cruelly taken before she should have been. And I know I can never say or do anything to make that better, but I'm always going to her here to support and love you." Bernie held Serena a little tighter in her arms, her own mind flashing back to the moment Serena told her that her loving her would never make her feel better.

As if knowing exactly what Bernie was now thinking of Serena spun in Bernie's arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around her back. Neither woman knew what to say in that moment, but they didn't need words when their actions spoke louder than any words ever could. They would always be there for each other, and that made them able to face anything.

Later that evening they lay together under the stars wrapped in a blanket on the day bed. Serena gently caressing Bernie's hair causing little content sighs to leave the blonde's lips. Shifting a little Bernie gazed up at Serena.

"Serena, earlier… when I came to find you."

"Mmm…" Serena hummed in response, lost in her own thoughts of Bernie in a wedding dress.

"It was because… Well I have a beautiful ring on my finger…" she admired her own engagement ring before lifting Serena's left hand to her lips kissing her ring finger. "but your hand appears to still be empty so, nobody knows you're betrothed."

"Betrothed? Have we slipped into a time machine, my darling?" Serena teased softly before continuing. "It doesn't matter about a ring Bernie, I know… and I'll have a ring when we marry."

"But it does matter to me. Erm… earlier I spoke with Charlotte. And, well for as long as we have been together I have always imagined one day asking you to become my wife." Bernie flushed a little pink at her confession. "And… well, when I imagined asking, I always asked with this." Producing a ring box from her pocket Bernie ducked her head back into Serena's shoulder and hid shyly behind her fringe. Within seconds Serena was sweeping Bernie's hair away from her face with one hand whilst her other was tilting her chin upwards so their eyes could meet.

"You'd bought me an engagement ring?" the smile on Serena's lips was undeniable, her eyes dancing with love and excitement.

"Well, no…" her voice was very low and husky, opening the box she flicked her eyes between the ring and Serena. "It was my grandmother's engagement ring… it was passed on to my mother, and then she gave it to me… erm…" Bernie stumbled as her mind clouded with memories of her mother. Bernie had been open with Serena about the sadness she felt that her mother was no longer alive to see her finally truly happy. Snapping back to the present she smiled softly. "Sorry… erm… I want you to have it… if you want to… I don't want to make you wear a ring… but I just thought…"

"Of course, I want to wear it… now shut up and kiss me." Serena carefully lowered herself down to close the gap between their lips.

Eventually the need to breathe forced them to separate. Serena's eyes casting down to the ring box still in Bernie's hand. Without any need for words Bernie removed the ring from the box and carefully slipped it onto Serena's finger, gleaming when it was a perfect fit. "I love you Serena Wendy Campbell."

"And I you, my darling." Serena cupped Bernie's cheek before her hands found themselves caressing her blonde locks.

In the hast of passion the pair soon found themselves, bare limbs entwined, gently caressing each other's bodies. Serena tracing delicately the scars that told part of Bernie's life story. Starting her journey at the silver scar on the right of her neck Serena mapped her way down her lover's body, peppering each of her scars with light kisses. She paid special attention on the newest puckered pink line that marked her left breast before tracing down the silvered line bisecting her chest. As she reached the faint line about her pubic bone she allowed her tongue to dart out to trace it, this caused the blonde to arch up into her touch and emit delicious moans from her lips. Glancing up to meet the blonde's gaze Serena smirked before dipping her head lower once more.


	18. Chapter 18

"But… I really don't want to go." Bernie huffed, taking a gulp of her morning coffee, trying desperately to not look Serena directly in the eye. Serena rolled her eyes, placing a warmed pastry down on the breakfast bar in front of Bernie.

"Unfortunately, Berenice Wolfe, you have no choice." Carefully running her fingers into the blonde's hair, a little smirk crossed her lips when the action caused the blonde to melt into her touch. "Because number 1, you are our lead consultant surgeon in the Trauma Centre, so attendance at a fundraising gala for your unit isn't really optional… and number 2, I'm the CEO, so I have to attend and since you are engaged to me it makes your presence at my side mandatory if you don't want to sleep on the sofa for a month." Bernie scowled and went to argue back, only to be stopped by Serena placing a finger against her lips. "We can make it two months of sleeping on the sofa if you like."

"Fine." She huffed out, before pulling Serena into her arms. "But just know that you'll have to find a way of making it up to me."

"I'm sure I can think of a way… starting with allowing you to remove my dress after the gala…" Serena quirked her eyebrow then captured Bernie's lips against her own.

In the days leading up to the gala it wouldn't be unreasonable to say that Bernie was in a foul mood. She really despised formal gatherings, she had done ever since she was a child and the latest gala she was now being forced into attending was no different. Finding a suitable outfit wasn't proving to be easy either. At least when she was in the military she had been able to haul out her dress uniform for such occasions, but that was a no go for an NHS gala, despite what she knew it would do to Serena.

On her day off Bernie had braved the local shopping centre and had been quite proud of herself after finding an outfit she deemed suitable. The figure hugging black tuxedo with a low cut white shirt making her feel comfortable whilst at the same time smart enough for such an occasion. She'd even taken the time to pop into a lingerie shop and purchase new underwear that was suitable to wear with it.

When Serena had walked through the door that evening she'd dragged her up the stairs with a smile to show of her purchases. "I hope you like it… I saw a similar one that I quite liked too… I thought maybe I could have that one for the wedding." Bernie grinned. They hadn't really planned much of the wedding beyond setting a date, but she liked to show Serena she was thinking about it all the time. The questioning look from Serena when she'd seen the tuxedo hung on the wardrobe door though immediately dampened her excitement.

"You don't like it?" Bernie asked tentatively.

"No… it's not that. As gorgeous as I'm sure you'll look in it, I just thought you'd be wearing a dress is all." Serena gave her a small smile. "But if that is what you want to wear, then that's what you shall wear." Reaching up Bernie fiddled with the hair at the nape of her own neck as she slumped onto the bed deflated.

"I can find a dress, if that's what you want me to wear." She spoke quietly, lifting her eyes slowly to look at Serena. Although uncomfortable in dresses Bernie would do anything to please her fiancée.

"It's a lovely tuxedo Bernie. I'm sure you'll look beautiful in it." Leaning forward Serena placed a light kiss on Bernie's cheek then turned and left the bedroom, chattering about getting the dinner on as she went, leaving Bernie still sat on the bed.

The following day, once Serena had left for work, Bernie knocked lightly on her daughter's bedroom door. "Lottie? Are you up?" getting an affirmative call from the young girl she pushed open the door. "I need your help." Rubbing her eyes the blonde righted herself in the bed, her face still screwed up with sleep.

"Oh?" she patted the bed beside her allowing her mother to take a seat.

"Saturday I have got to attend a gala with Serena, it's for the new trauma centre, you've probably heard her talking about it."

"And you don't want to go so you need me to help you come up with a good enough excuse to get you out of it?" She questioned, raising her eyebrows and smirking.

"Yes, well no…" She paused, "You're right I don't want to go… but it's been made perfectly clear that if I don't I'm sleeping on the sofa for at least a month. I need help with what to wear." Running her fingers backed through her messy blonde curls she sighed heavily. "I went shopping myself yesterday, bought an outfit but Serena…" she trailed off with a shrug. Charlotte was immediately pushing herself out of bed.

"Come on, show me what you bought." Pulling her mother back to her own bedroom Charlotte waited as Bernie changed into her new outfit. Padding out from the ensuite once she was changed Bernie screwed her face up a little.

"What do you think?" Charlotte smiled broadly.

"Wow. That looks good on you, really good." she indicated for her mother to give her a spin, Bernie obliging her daughter. Charlotte's eyes coming to rest on the silver line down the centre of her mother's chest when she came to a stop.

"What?" Bernie asked questioningly, it was when followed her daughter's line of sight to her scar she shifted uncomfortably, "Does it look bad?"

"No, mum… it's just, I'm not used to seeing it. You truly look stunning." She furrowed her brow a little, quirking her head to one side. "What was Serena's problem with it?"

"She assumed I'd wear a dress." Charlotte's bark of laughter, very similar to Bernie's own laugh, cut across the room. "What's so funny?"

"You in a dress. I've only seen you in a dress probably as many times as I can count on one hand in 22 years. You don't do dresses."

"I used to… sometimes, for functions with your father. Normally when he made it plainly clear that turning up in my RAMC uniform was not going to be acceptable." She laughed a little before sighing. "I want to please Serena, and it won't hurt me to find a dress to wear, not really. But I'll need your help." Charlotte nodded at her mother.

"Give me half an hour." With that she left. This allowed Bernie to change into something more comfortable for their shopping trip, clothes which would allow for her to take them on and off easily.

"Argh! It's no use. We are never going to find anything." Bernie huffed out as she threw yet another dress over the chair in the large open planned changing space. So far, she had tried on five different dresses in this shop alone, finding fault and feeling uncomfortable in every single one of them. Despite her initial optimism about the shopping trip Charlotte was beginning to grow weary.

"Right, try this one." She held out before her a floor length blush pink dress, with capped lace sleeves.

Bernie scoffed. "It's pink!"

"I'm aware of that. Now get in there and try it on." Charlotte pushed her mother into the small curtained room. "Now hurry up. It might look good on you." All she got in response was a lot of grumbling before Bernie emerged from behind the curtain. The ruching on the bodice clung perfectly to the curve of her waist and hips, the material skimming down her toned legs and sweeping the floor. "Well mother you do scrub up well." Charlotte smiled encouragingly at her. "How does it feel?"

"It feels nice, comfortable." She said, smoothing the material over her hips, twisting in the mirror slightly to see how it looked from behind. "But, it's pink!"

"I can see that, but it does look really nice."

"Would be better in black." Bernie mumbled. She was interrupted by a cough coming from the doorway.

"Sorry, but we do have the same dress in a midnight blue if you'd like me to get that for you." Bernie had screeched out a yes before the woman had even finished her sentence. The dress really being perfect except for the colour. Within 20 minutes Bernie was back in the car heading home, the new outfit of the gala safely stowed in a bag to be hidden in Charlotte's room when they got to the house, having decided to keep the change in her attire hidden from Serena until the night of the gala.


	19. Chapter 19

Serena appeared at the door of the trauma unit, her belongings slung over her arm and her keys jangling in her hand. She was a little later than expected down to collect Bernie, but she'd got caught by the head of paediatrics on her way down. Her brow creased on confusion when she didn't immediately see the blonde in her office ready to go. It was then she heard a familiar voice cutting across from one of the side rooms.

Bernie shouted orders to her team, her hands currently deep in the abdominal cavity of a young female patient who had been struck by a car. It seemed as fast as the team were pumping in blood and platelets the patient was losing them through what Serena could only assume was a liver laceration based on the current actions of the blonde. Glancing to the clock she sighed. It was only three hours until they were due to leave for the gala, Bernie was meant to be finished her shift but that clearly wasn't going to be the case. Beckoning over a nurse she gave them a message for Bernie, deciding that she'd still go home as planned, realising the blonde's absence at the event being down to a trauma call would be a reasonable enough excuse for the benefactors.

By half past six Serena was ready to leave, stood in the mirror she looked over her own reflection before glancing to Bernie's tuxedo hung on the door of the wardrobe and sighing softly. She knew Bernie would have looked stunning on her arm in her outfit, and although she knew the blonde was where she was needed most, it didn't make the thought of the gala without her any easier. Repositioning the pendant which hung low from her neck she caught the sparkle of her engagement ring which made her heart leap. She still wasn't used to seeing it there, after all a lot of the time she was at the hospital and she wasn't meant to wear it when working, although being CEO meant she got away with it when not on clinical duties. "Right, I think I'll do." She said to herself, picking up the small clutch bag which contained her phone, purse and lipstick before descending the stairs, a nice glass of Shiraz awaiting her before the taxi was due.

She'd barely got off the bottom step when the whirlwind that was Bernie Wolfe swept through the front door, "Hi… sorry, major trauma…" Bernie breathed out "give me… 5 minutes… I'll be ready…" Serena shook her head in disbelief as she was passed by her at the bottom of the stairs. Charlotte appearing from her bedroom as soon as she heard her mother, taking a firm grip of her hand and shoving her towards the bathroom.

"I'm going to require more than 5 minutes Serena, but I promise to have her ready to leave…" pausing she glanced at her watch, knowing the taxi was booked for seven fifteen. "Almost on time." She gave Serena a side smile before pushing Bernie through the door, grabbing her coat from her as she went. "I know you're capable of showering in less than 5 minutes, so let's put that normally useless skill to the test. I'm timing you." With that she left her mother alone and hung over the bannister to look down at her future step mother who still stood there, a slight bemused look adorning her features. "You look really lovely… the red suits you." She said smiling warmly.

"She doesn't have to come… I can explain she got caught up with an emergency." Serena's eyes moved to the bathroom door, almost as if she could see through the wood as the water started.

"Oh no. She's coming. I did not sit for several hours watching her try on dresses for her to not go."

"Dresses?" the questioning tone was evident in her voice.

"Oh shoot…" her face froze for a second, then she waggled her finger at Serena, "Still act surprised when she comes out. Now I need to get stuff ready… Cinderella didn't get to the ball without the help of her fairy godmother after all." With a smirk Charlotte disappeared into her bedroom.

Appearing from the bathroom, Bernie cast her own eye over the bannister. In her hast to run up the stairs she'd not stopped to look at Serena, only remembering a flash of cherry red as she passed her. As she'd showered she'd imagined how complementary their dresses would look together, a smile crossing her lips at the realisation that deep blue and cherry red were the colours she'd worn herself when in her RAMC dress uniform. Sighing that she was no longer stood in the hall she wrapped her towel tighter around her and headed into Charlotte's room.

The sight before her made her shake her head, her hand waggling over the array of makeup on the bed. "Yeh… no. I'll wear a dress but I'm not going to be made to look like a china doll." Rolling her eyes Charlotte forced her mother to take a seat at her dressing table, immediately working the towel over her damp hair to take the moisture out.

"Hush mother. Trust me?" With that request Bernie nodded her head a little and allowed Charlotte to get to work.

"See, aren't you glad I decided to do that course in hair and beauty now rather than follow you into medicine." Charlotte looked at her mother quite smugly as she finished applying the final coat of colour to her lips. Although she was now pursuing a career in law she liked to still wind her parents up about the rebellious turn she'd taken upon completing her GCSE's, having insisted she go to college and do the hair and beauty course much to the horror of her parents who wanted her to complete her A-Levels. Looking back now she was grateful in the end they'd allowed her to do it, Bernie having broken and agreed before Marcus, abandonment guilt being the reason she'd thought at the time, but those two years allowed her to grow up, become more responsible before she threw herself back into serious studies as her father put it. It meant that when the time came she achieved straight A*'s in the four A-Levels she sat, trouncing Cam who'd only got straight A's, she ignored the fact that an A* was not possible to attain when he took his, and left university with a first-class honours degree in law.

"Hmmm, perhaps it does come in handy occasionally."

"I'd say daily," she waved her hand over her own hair and makeup. "but let's not argue." Handing her mother, a pair of simple tear drop earrings she nodded, her eyes flickering shut as she did. Slipping them into her own ears Bernie looked across to her daughter. "You look beautiful." She said, stepping back and admiring her handy work once again. She'd managed to tame the usually unruly curls of her mother's hair, clipping sections back to keep them off her face, the small amount of makeup she'd used only highlighting Bernie's natural beauty and setting off the colour of her eyes. Turning her head to look properly in the mirror for the first time Bernie was surprised to see the reflection staring back at her. She'd expected to not recognise herself after Charlotte had finished, when in fact she felt the total opposite. "Let's get you into that dress, then downstairs to your Princess Charming."

It took a couple of minutes, but it wasn't long before Charlotte was excitedly bounding down the stairs to find Serena. "She's ready! And I have 5 minutes to spare!" She wasn't quite sure how she'd achieved it, but she'd managed to transform her mother in less than 45 minutes.

"Will I do?" Bernie quietly uttered as she appeared at the kitchen door. Rendered speechless by the vision before her eyes, Serena's face went from one of shock to one of pure delight, excitement and lust in the matter of seconds it took for her to cross the kitchen and take Bernie in her arms.

"Mind your lipstick!" Charlotte screeched as she turned away from the pair, she loved them both dearly, but she did not need the image of them necking scorched into her brain.

Laughing softly, the pair broke apart, their eyes glancing to Charlotte's back before returning to one another's. Serena spoke first, "You look amazing." Her hand gently caressing a few of the loose curls that hung around Bernie's ear.

"All Lottie's doing. But you… well you look breath taking. I don't quite know how I'm expected to behave tonight… I'm very much in lust with you right now." The blush that rose on Serena's cheeks was evident despite her makeup as Bernie spoke. The blonde raked her eyes up and down Serena's body, taking in how the deep v of the dress cut down between her cleavage, and the material clung perfectly to her curves cutting an exquisite silhouette.

"And I you my darling." Charlotte was grateful for the honking of the taxi putting an end to that particular train of conversation as she ushered the pair outside.

"Photos!" Charlotte called, posing them together on the step she snapped away with her camera. Kissing them on the cheek she stood back and watched as they climbed into the taxi. "Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do." With a wink Bernie closed the taxi door and they were off.

Stepping back into the house, Charlotte picked her favourite of the photos. Posting the image of the pair beaming into the camera their arms wrapped tightly around each other with the simple caption, "My Mum's are better than yours."


	20. Chapter 20

"You're not wearing your new tux." It was a question more than an observation from Serena, her hand entwined with Bernie in the back of the taxi as they drove towards the venue.

"No, I, after the other day I kind of worked out it perhaps was going to be one of those functions where my turning up in a suit wasn't appropriate… so I enlisted Charlotte's help and went shopping." Bernie ran her eyes over herself nervously, "I don't look ridiculous, do I?"

Serena shook her head, her eyes sparkling. "Far from it my darling, you look sensational. I'm going to have to be keeping an eye on everyone tonight, every man and woman in the place is going to be eyeing up my fiancée."

Bernie scoffed, blushing despite herself. "Well I don't think that is true." The purred disagreement coming from her fiancée did nothing to alleviate her blushes. Clasping their hands tightly together, they remained in a comfortable silence for the remainder of their journey.

Gently guiding Bernie into the ballroom Serena smiled appreciatingly at her surroundings, pleased to see the organising committee had followed her guidance, keeping décor simple allowing the dramatically high ceiling and the beautifully appointed crystal chandeliers to stand out. A quick scan of the room told her several people had already clocked her arrival with Bernie, a few turning away the moment they caught her gaze, it becoming clear they were talking about herself and Bernie, and perhaps not in a way they should have been. Bernie had caught sight of what had happened and instinctively went to pull away from Serena. This only made Serena hold tighter to her arm, giving Bernie a little shake of her head. "We shouldn't be afraid to hold hands and show affection Bernie, we're doing nothing wrong." Serena smiled reassuringly at Bernie, lifting her free hand to cup her cheek gently. "Okay?" Bernie's eyes sparkled at Serena's reassurances, nodding her head whilst squeezing her hand a little tighter.

"I am." Allowing her eyes to flick around the room she located the bar. "Would you like a glass of Shiraz?" the answering laugh from Serena warmed her heart. "Okay, silly question, I'll be back in a moment."

Without realising it, Serena's eyes fixated on Bernie's retreating figure, taking the opportunity to eye her up from behind, a smirk flickering across her face as she appreciated how the material of the dress hung over her hips and clung to the curve of her bum. It didn't take long for Serena's thoughts to take a more explicit turn, her mind wandering what she knew lay beneath the material.

Serena's attention was soon turned to a group of benefactors who wanted to hear all about the new trauma systems which were being put in place, streamlining the work of the ED and AAU. Proudly she explained the trauma protocols Bernie had been able to transfer from her experiences in Nairobi, ensuring they understood it was all thanks to her fiancée that things were working out so well at Holby.

From the bar Bernie was able to see Serena had got caught chatting, naughtily deciding to wait a few minutes before heading back to her after all, Serena was much better at the schmoozing than she was. Ordering two glasses of shiraz and a whisky, a little pick me up to get her through an uncomfortable evening of social interaction, she allowed her mind to flit frivolously to what she'd do to Serena once she had her all to herself that night.

A gruff cough from behind her started her from her daze. Turning her head, her eyes narrowed, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"That's no way to greet one of the guests this evening, Bern." The smarmy grin on Marcus Dunn's face made Bernie want to instantly kick him into next week. He puffed up his shoulders, his self-importance oozing from him.

Within moments Bernie had levelled up to him, looking every inch the army major despite her current attire, and with a quirk of her lips and a tilt of her head spoke, her words dripping with passive aggressive anger. "Oh. Sorry. How should I greet the man who a few weeks ago wished me dead?"

"Charlotte came crawling to you then, did she? Thought she might have done." he laughed, "I just told her it would have saved a lot of trouble if you'd been killed."

"And that you hoped I died on the operating table." She raised her eyebrows in attrition. "She told me everything. Do you know what though, Marcus? You can't hurt me anymore. And I will not have you hurting Charlotte. If you'd have stopped to think for a moment as her father before you said those things to her, you might have considered what your words would do."

"She's not a child now." Marcus shifted his weight between his feet, trying not to appear rattled by the anger now burning in his ex-wife's eyes.

"No, she isn't, but she still is your child. Wish me dead all you want Marcus, I don't care. But do not ever think that it is okay to share those thoughts with Charlotte. Because you weren't there when I was having to calm her sobs. You weren't there when her nightmares returned. You weren't there to see the damage your words did."

"There is not point trying to make me feel guilty…" he scoffed. "because I meant what I said."

"Do you have no shame? You caused your little girl such anguish that she didn't sleep properly for weeks." She shook her head, screwing her face up at him as he still showed no remorse. "You disgust me… my children and I are much better off as far away from you as we can get." Pausing she picked up the two glasses of shiraz from the bar. "Now I'm going to go over there to my fiancée," she indicated to Serena, "and when I turn back here, you are going to have left. I will get security to remove you if you do not leave of your own accord." With that she walked away, willing herself just to get to Serena and not explode with anger.

Reaching Serena, Bernie handed over a glass of shiraz before taking a large gulp of her own, her shaking hand instinctively reaching around Serena's back to pull her close. Instantly the scent that was so uniquely Serena Campbell filled her nostrils and calmed her, placing her lips to her temple, she left a delicate kiss there, her not caring in that moment who was around to see. Taking a few deep breathes, she relayed her encounter with Marcus. Finding amusement in the describing the dumbstruck look he wore after she announced Serena as her fiancée. Once she was ready to mingle again, Bernie allowed herself to be guided to meet various people who had come out to support them.

Towards the end of the evening Bernie and Serena had found themselves at opposite ends of the large ballroom. Bernie, despite her initial reservations, was enjoying sharing her vast knowledge and experience in the field of trauma with a pretty brunette who had an interest in specialising in trauma when Serena spotted her from the far side of the room. It was quite plain to see that the younger brunette was rather enamoured by Bernie's charms and was quite doubtlessly flirting. Excusing herself from her conversation, she made a beeline towards the pair, sashaying across the room. She exaggerated her hip swing a little more when she knew she'd caught Bernie's eye.

"Ah, Clara… speak to the devil and she shall appear." Bernie swept her arm down Serena's arm, their fingers tangling together momentarily, "This is Ms Serena Campbell, our CEO at Holby City. Serena, this is Clara Wilson, she is currently on rotation at St Bart's."

"It's a pleasure Ms Campbell." Clara extended her hand and shook Serena's. "Ms Wolfe was just telling me about the trauma facilities at Holby. I was saying how much I would love to visit, and shadow Ms Wolfe. Since deciding to specialise in trauma, Ms Wolfe's name has been one to crop up many times. Everyone speaks so highly of her."

"Quite rightly too. I'm glad I was able to snag her… for the trauma unit." Although her pause was no more than a couple of seconds long, it was long enough for Bernie to dip her head to hide her blushes at the double-entendre.

"Yes, well, I said that it might be possible for Clara to come in… but that I'd need to speak to you first." A brief flickering smile crossing her lips as she spoke.

"If you ring my secretary on Monday, I'm sure something could be arranged." Before the conversation could go any further Bernie was tapped on the shoulder and pulled away, her apologising as she went.

"She's in demand tonight." Clara laughed softly, her eyes following Bernie.

"Mmm, she always is." Serena mused. "But yes, if you ring my secretary I'm sure we can sort something. Bernie seems keen to show off her new facilities."

"That would be so marvellous. Thank you so much Ms Campbell… erm… sorry this might be totally inappropriate to ask…" she flushed a little. "But, Ms Wolfe… Bernie… is she, erm… seeing anyone…"

"I'm sorry, what?" Utterly startled by the young woman, Serena couldn't quite comprehend what she'd just been asked.

"Sorry, so inappropriate to ask… you probably don't get involved in the private lives of your staff anyway."

"Yes, well, no I don't make a habit of it. But I do happen to know that Ms Wolfe is engaged. Head over heels in love last I heard." Serena briefly glanced to her own hand, where her engagement ring sparkled in the light.

"Well whoever they are, they are extremely lucky. She is magnificent." Sighing softly, Clara shifted her gaze from Bernie back to Serena.

"I am, aren't I?" Serena hummed, a smirk playing on her lips. With that she spun on her heel and walked away, leaving the young woman open mouthed and staring in shock as she called back over her shoulder that she would let her secretary know to expect her call.

Before they knew it, the evening had drawn to a close and the two women were wrapped around each other in the back of a taxi once again. "Clara seemed nice. I hope we can sort for her to come in and work with us for a bit. She seemed so interested."

"She was very interested… in my fiancée." Serena ran her fingers from Bernie's knee to her upper thigh. Drawing delicate patterns as she went.

"Oh, don't be silly, I'm old enough to be her mother." She smiled coyly as a shiver went up her spine, caused by Serena's actions.

"That may be my darling, but she definitely was interested. She asked me if you were seeing anyone."

"She didn't?" When Serena nodded, Bernie laughed.

"I bet you took great pleasure in informing her I was taken."

"Oh yes…" A smirk danced across Serena's lips as her eyes shone with passion. "I took great delight in making it clear that you were mine."


	21. Chapter 21

Serena's fingers trembled, her breathing wobbling as she fought not to cry. Shaking out of her own thoughts she turned to see Ric had been speaking to her whilst they made their way from the boardroom. "Erm… sorry?"

"Do you want me to speak to her?" Ric smiled, his face showing recognition of her distress after the long board meeting in which she'd failed to convince the board that agreeing that seconding Bernie to their sister hospital on the other side of the Trust would be detrimental to the hospital.

"No. No, it should be me." Serena smiled sadly, her fingers worrying at her engagement ring.

"It's only 12 weeks." He tried to reassure her. A comforting hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"12 weeks is a very long time to not be with her Ric. Especially when we've already spent so much time apart." Tears beginning to pool in her eyes, she excused herself, thankfully making it to her office before the tears began to fall.

"Ms Wolfe, Ms Campbell needs to see you when you have a moment. She's in her office." A young nurse called to Bernie as she re-entered the ward having been in theatre most of the afternoon repairing a damaged spleen. Nodding in acknowledgement she scanned the ward, checking they could do without her for a few minutes before heading up to Serena's office.

Knocking gently on the door, she pushed it open carefully when Serena called for her to enter. A smile spreading across her face when her eyes settled on Serena. The soft evening light casting on her face through the window, giving her an ethereal glow. "Hello beautiful. I hear you required my attention." Perching herself on the arm of a chair she gave Serena a winning smile. "Whilst finishing up in theatre, I was thinking about the venue we visited last weekend… I know we said it was quite pricey for the type of wedding we want, but you're worth it… and the way your eyes lit up when we walked into the ceremony room… I think that's where we should get married." Bernie's eyes danced with excitement, before the look on Serena's face extinguished them. "Darling?"

"We can talk about the wedding when we get home." She tried to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "For now, I need to talk to you as CEO…" casting her eyes down she took a deep breath, steeling herself before looking back to her partner. "As you know the board met this afternoon alongside some representatives of the Trust." Bernie nodded, although Serena could see she was currently a little distracted by the way her eyes were flitting around, concern for Serena showing on her face. "Following the successful opening of our Trauma Unit, the Trust have decided to open another unit down at St Helier's to service the entirety of the West Country."

"That's sensible, better trauma facilities there would be so beneficial, especially when you think of how remote some of the areas are down there. Reducing the time taken to reach a trauma centre will save countless lives."

"Quite. And whilst this is not a decision I myself agree with, the Trust have decided to utilise your skills and experience in setting up Trauma Units." Serena couldn't bare the look Bernie was now giving her. "The board have asked me to inform you that they will temporarily be transferring your contract to St Helier's for a 12-week period, starting on the first of next month."

"What?!" Bernie looked horrified. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Serena took a deep intake of breath, shaking her head in resignation. "I've checked. Your new contract stipulates that you work for the Trust not specifically for the hospital. So long as certain conditions are met they can move you around."

"Right…" Bernie clasped her fingers around her engagement ring. Her mind working overtime to calculate the journey time between Holby and Cornwall, remembering them researching the distance when they were looking at booking a cottage near St Austall for a weekend getaway. "St Helier's is what, at least 150 miles away… a 300-mile round trip… I can't do that daily plus set up a trauma unit."

"No, I quite agree. It would be dangerous. I wouldn't want you driving that much. I was reassured that comfortable accommodation has been arranged for you."

"Oh…" Bernie felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, the realisation that Serena understood that she would be away for three months. Looking at Serena old doubts and demons crept into her head. The same thoughts that drove her away from Holby in the direction of Kiev all those years ago. Perhaps this was what Serena wanted. Maybe she'd realised now they were together all the time that it was too much. What if this was her way of getting rid of her long enough to work out how to call off the engagement? Work out how to let her down gently.

"Bernie? Talk to me…" Serena could see the cogs turning in Bernie's brain. Suddenly she was shocked to see Bernie stand, mutter something about checking on her patient before running out the door. Running out into the corridor all Serena could do was yell after her, the blonde running down the corridor as fast as her legs would carry her.

Taking a deep breath Bernie knocked back another whiskey, grateful that Dom hadn't so far questioned the volume of the amber liquid she'd consumed that evening. She'd descended on his flat in quite a state, her face streaked with tears and her whole-body trembling. He hadn't asked any questions, just welcomed her in, allowed her to warm up before he fed her and then became a listening ear as she drank. "I love her enough to let her go. If that's what she wants." Desperately trying to stop her lip trembling she bit it hard. The tears pooling in her eyes betraying the stoic façade she was trying to put on. It was the most vulnerable Dom had ever seen her, wrapping his arm around her he pulled her into him. Keeping her close as he allowed her to cry.


	22. Chapter 22

"Morning…" the brightness in Charlotte's voice as she bounced into the living room was short lived once she caught sight of her future step mother, her eyes red raw, exhaustion evident in her whole body. Furrowing her brow, the tone of Charlotte's voice changed, perching herself beside Serena. "What's up?"

Watery eyes glanced upwards, a wobble evident in her voice when she spoke. "She didn't come home last night." The tears threatening to fall before she cast her eyes to the ceiling to stop them, swallowing hard. "I, we… it's my fault… I should have fought harder… I think I've ruined everything." Her walls breaking down Serena crumpled into Charlotte's arms the moment they wound around her.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay." Rubbing soothing circles onto Serena's back, Charlotte rocked back and forth. It was the same comforting embrace she always found herself in when she was distressed as a child. "You haven't ruined everything. When she gets home you can talk about whatever it is. Maybe she got caught at the hospital." Pausing she held Serena a little tighter. "Did you sleep at all last night?" Although she could guess the answer to her own question, Charlotte wanted to know.

"Couldn't." She shook her head against the young girls' shoulder. "I didn't want to be sleeping if she came back." Sniffing loudly, Serena curled herself a little more into Charlotte's embrace. Charlotte sighed internally, she knew her mother, if her and Serena had fought she'd have panicked and run. It was her default position. She just hoped she hadn't run too far.

When eventually Serena's crying subsided and gave way to gentle snores Charlotte stilled herself, but kept her arms tightly wound around her, not wanting to risk waking her when she was finally getting some rest. It was some time before the gentle click of the front door caused her to look up. From her vantage point she could make out the door opening, however she couldn't see who was entering the house. She knew it could only be one of three people who had key, and she hoped it would be Bernie.

Bernie entered the house, dark circles evident under her eyes from a night of very little sleep, her head sore from the volume of whiskey she'd consumed in a bid to numb her pain. Glancing around the hallway she took a deep breath, allowing the familiar scent of home to fill her nostrils. Hearing light snores from the living room she tiptoed over and pushed open the door. "Hi." She sheepishly murmured, taking in the sight of her fiancée in her daughter's arms.

"Where have you been?" Charlotte asked, her eyes scrutinising her mother's appearance but the tone of her voice being one of concern.

"I stayed with a friend. I needed some time. Is she okay?" Bernie indicated to Serena, perching herself on the arm of the armchair by the fire.

Charlotte considered lying to protect her mother but decided against it. Gently shaking her head. "She's been up all night… she's only been asleep half an hour or so… she sobbed herself to sleep in my arms, Mum. She's really upset you didn't come home."

Bernie cast her eyes down to the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with Charlotte, knowing her behaviour had caused Serena's distress. "Did she tell you what's happened?" A fleeting glance allowed her to see Charlotte shake her head, so Bernie explained what had happened at the hospital the previous day, even explaining the crippling thoughts she'd been trying to fight away that Serena was doing it to get rid of her. Bernie ran her fingers under her lower eye lids, pushing away the tears that had gathered. "I think maybe this was her way of distancing herself from me, to let me down gently. If she put me 150 miles away, she can orchestrate us growing apart, then," she choked back a sob, tears now beginning to tumble. "then call off the engagement." Biting her bottom lip, she allowed her eyes to fall on Serena's sleeping face. "I, erm… last night, I erm… if it's what she wants I won't make it hard for her. I'll walk away." Her lip trembling again Bernie buried her face in her hands.

"Oh mum!" Charlotte looked sadly up at her mother, her own heart breaking at how resigned Bernie was to losing Serena.

"I'm just…" she indicated to the door. Heading into the garden she took herself to the very end of the garden. Gripping the low fence, she stared out over the fields, her whole body shaking in despair.

It was a while before Bernie felt ready to go back into the house again, the other two women still in the same position, her mind now on the practicalities of their current situation rather than her emotional turmoil. "I'm going to carry her upstairs, she'll be more comfortable. Then I'll ring Ric, let him know she won't be in today. Then I'll… I should sort my stuff." Nodding she got herself up, carefully scooping Serena into her arms. Immediately all her senses where overtaken by Serena, the weight of her in her arms, the soft scent of Serena's shampoo filling her nostrils, her soft breaths and snores filling her ears, biting back more tears she gave a weak smile to Charlotte before starting to head up the stairs.

Serena shuddered as she was set down on the cool sheets, Bernie immediately pulling the duvet around her to keep her warm. Her fingers pushing her hair back from her face. "Shhh, get some rest." Allowing her fingers to linger in her hair she snatched them away when Serena's eyes flickered open.

"You're here." Came a sleepy mumble, a smile forming on Serena's lips.

"I am. Go back to sleep. I'll sort everything." Selfishly Bernie was enjoying Serena's sleepy state, the softness of her voice that allowed Bernie to pretend for a while that all was well. A low hum of agreement left Serena's lips before she drifted back into a peaceful slumber. Bernie stood mesmerised for a few moments, her body thrumming with love for the woman in front of her. She knew with every fibre of her being she would never be able to love another woman in her life, this was it for her.


	23. Chapter 23

The bedroom door creaked open slowly causing Bernie to raise her eyes from their fixation on Serena. Whilst Serena had slept she'd curled herself up in the arm chair that sat beside their bed, spinning her engagement ring around and around on her finger, committing every feature of Serena's face to memory. The thoughts of this possibly being the last time would do this causing her whole body to physically hurt.

"I brought you up a coffee." Charlotte padded across the plush, grey carpet holding a steaming mug out to her mother. "I've put an extra sugar in it… I thought you could use it."

"Thank you." She croaked, coughing a little to allow her voice to adjust to speaking. Taking the cup in her hands she inhaled the scent of coffee, an involuntary groan leaving her lips instantly. "Sorry about earlier… I don't like to cry in front of you." she murmured into the cup, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

"No need to apologise Mum. But promise me you'll talk to Serena… properly before you do anything stupid." The sternness in her gaze showing Bernie there was no room for argument.

"I will. I promise." A sad smile spread itself across her lips. "I'm not letting her go unless it is absolutely what she wants, because I love her more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone." Charlotte's hand squeezed her shoulder in a comforting gesture.

"I think she feels the same." The rustling of the bedsheets caused her to pull away from her Mother. "I'll leave you two to talk." Backing herself out of the room she shut the door behind herself. Leaning back against the wall she sighed, hoping beyond hope that the two women communicated coherently enough to express themselves properly before her mother did something she would spend the rest of her life regretting.

Placing her mug on the side, Bernie sat forward in the chair, her eyes scanning over Serena. She couldn't stop her mind going at 1000 miles an hour as she worked out what to say when the other woman woke. Her eyes flitted briefly to the empty suitcase on the floor, her nose screwing up to prevent herself from crying. She'd managed to get as far as getting it out before her chest had felt so tight she couldn't breathe. The fear of losing Serena seeping into every bone in her body. Fisting her hands tightly into balls she forced herself to focus on the present, her eyes coming to focus once again on Serena. She watched her intently, her heart skipping a beat when Serena's hand reached out to her side of the bed. A grumble leaving the greying brunette's lips at finding it cold and empty.

It was a few moments before Serena sat bolt up right in bed, the whole situation coming back to her, panic and despair painting itself on her face when she remembered Bernie not coming home the previous night. Without having time to second guess herself Bernie was at her side, her arms reaching out to reassure her partner. "Serena…" The eyes of her lover immediately found hers. Serena visibly calmed by Bernie presence, her arms instantly her snaking tightly around Bernie's middle.

"You're here…" Her cheek resting itself on Bernie's chest she took some slow breaths to calm herself further, the safety and familiarity of Bernie's arms doing the rest. "I was so worried."

"I…" Bernie's eyes filled with tears, quickly she nuzzled her nose into Serena's hair to hide her emotions, scoffing at her own stupidity when realisation hit that she had read the entire situation incorrectly, as she had done in the past too. The warmth and love radiating through Serena's embrace soothing her emotional state.

"Darling?" Serena pulled back, a hand coming up to cup the blonde's cheek allowing her to study her face.

Bernie's eyes fluttered downwards, a pink hue colouring her cheeks as she realised just how foolish she'd been. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"What?" Serena looked horrified, immediately pulling her closer. "No! Oh, Bernie. How could you think that?" Cupping her face with both hands she stared into her eyes. "I can't imagine my life without you."

"I don't want to imagine my life without you." Leaning forward she brushed her nose lightly against Serena's. "You aren't packing me off to Cornwall to get rid of me then?" She laughed lightly, trying to release the final edges of tension that she could feel.

"No, you bloody great idiot. I haven't fought for you to be mine for this long to now send you away." Realisation dawned on Serena's face. "Oh my darling, you really thought that didn't you." Nodding, Bernie buried her face in Serena's hair once more.

"I was so terrified I'd lost you…" Wrapping her arms tighter around Serena she took a deep breath. "I ugly cried on Dom last night." Bernie nuzzled her nose into her neck, taking deep breaths of the familiar scent. "I don't think he knew what to do with me." Pulling back, she looked into Serena's eyes. "He did help me figure out that your happiness is the most important thing to me though. That no matter the cost to me, your happiness is always the most important thing."

"Then I need you not to go anywhere. I need you here. With me."

"But… the trauma centre… the board…" Bernie smiled sadly, gazing into Serena's eyes.

"About that… the board will have two options, I had a lot of time last night to think about it. They send us both to St Helier's or we both stay here. I refuse to be away from you again. Holby will be fine in Ric's hands for a few weeks and I can work remotely."

Bernie beamed lovingly at her fiancée, her eyes still shimmering with unshed tears. "I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell."

"And I love you." Serena leant in for a soft tender kiss. "I'll be Serena Wendy Wolfe soon."

Bernie hummed in assent. "My Mrs Wolfe." Burying her head into the crook of Serena's neck she peppered the exposed skin with kisses.

Soon Bernie was beneath the covers with Serena, their limbs entwining and their bodies becoming one. Downstairs Charlotte could hear the goings on from her parents' bedroom, leaving a note by the coffee machine, she put on her shoes and slipped out the front door leaving them in peace, a smile on her face that they seemed to have worked out that neither of them wanted to be without the other.

Hours later, happy sated smiles on their faces, they lay together in bed, Serena aimlessly drawing patterns across Bernie's exposed back. "Yesterday, before you convinced yourself I wanted to send you away… you were talking about the wedding… tell me what you had in mind."

"Oh. Well I really would like us to book the venue from last weekend. The way your eyes lit up inside… well, I hope you look at me like that on our wedding day." Bernie blushed, burying her face in Serena's side.

"It did feel like the perfect place to say I do. Those grounds were stunning, imagine how beautiful they would look if we were lucky enough for it to snow." Running her fingers through Bernie's messy curls, she smiled. "I know we wanted a winter… a Christmas wedding." Bernie hummed her acknowledgement. "How would you feel about making it Christmas 2018 rather than Christmas 2019?"

"Really?" Bernie's head shot up, her voice full of excitement. "Are you sure that is enough time to plan it all? I mean, I don't want to wait a moment longer than I strictly have to for you to become my wife…"

"They can take years to plan, but some people do it in a matter of weeks." Serena tilted Bernie's chin up to kiss her. "As long as you are there, and at the end of the day you are my wife. None of the rest of it really matters."

"It'll be perfect no matter what."


	24. Chapter 24

Bernie leant her head forward, brushing her lips softly against Serena's exposed neck, her fingers working nimbly to release the knots in her fiancée's shoulders. Feeling an involuntary shiver beneath her fingertips she grinned, exhaling slowly to cause further shivers to course through Serena. "Bernie…" Serena's voice was barely audible, a low hum being the only response she received from Bernie, "I'm trying to concentrate." She tried to continue to read her book.

"But wouldn't you rather come and snuggle with me on the sofa?" Moving herself to perch on Serena's lap, Bernie ran her fingers lightly over Serena's shoulder. Her head tilted to one side, a pout on her lips and her eyes big like a puppy's.

"You, my darling, are like a child constantly needing my attention today." Serena teased, setting her book to one side and pulling Bernie further onto her lap. Instantly Bernie curled herself up in Serena's arms and nuzzled her nose into the crook of Serena's neck. The other woman's hands quickly winding their way up into Bernie's hair, tugging at the nape of her neck. "So, we're meeting the wedding planner at Cardington Abbey tomorrow afternoon?"

"Mmm," Bernie murmured. "Then, I have to drive down to Cornwall." Her voice was barely above a whisper and if it was even possible Bernie pulled herself even closer to Serena and held her a little tighter.

"I know." Holding her close, Serena closed her eyes and rested her lips gently on the top of Bernie's head. The realisation that the blonde was being so needy because it was tomorrow she left for Cornwall only just dawning on her. "But I'm coming to join you on Thursday." She pressed a kiss to Bernie's hair.

"Yeh." Bernie still spoke barely above a whisper, not trusting her voice not to break if she spoke any louder.

"It's only three nights a week." Serena reassured her, keeping her warmly embraced in her arms. After the high running emotions of the previous week, Serena had gone to the board with her ultimatum, determined she would make the board accept one of her proposals. She battled for a long time, and in the end was only able to persuade them to allow her to spend an additional one day a week away from Holby. She would therefore be spending Friday through to Sunday with Bernie. A sweetener to the deal was the hospital laying on a chauffeur driven car to transport her to St Helier's on a Thursday evening and bring her back to the hospital on a Monday morning meaning she would be able to spend 4 nights with Bernie.

"It is." Bernie took a deep breath and tilted her head to look at Serena. "Sorry, I know I'm being silly."

"Don't say sorry for how you are feeling, darling." She murmured, pulling back to smile at Bernie. "Before we know it will be the middle of December and you'll be back home, where you belong. And… you'll be my wife." Tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear she cupped her cheek. Bernie nodding and twisting her head to kiss Serena's palm.

"My Mrs Wolfe." Bernie hummed. The discussion regarding their names had taken place some weeks before, the pair deciding to keep their current names professionally for ease of distinguishing them apart in the hospital however for everything else they would use the name Wolfe, Serena feeling no desire to keep Edward's name or pass it on to Bernie.

"And you'll be my Mrs Wolfe." Gazing up with her eyes full of love Bernie felt her heart bursting with joy. "I do love you ever so much." Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes, her quickly burying her face once more in Serena's neck to hide her emotions.

Serena laughed softly, "And I love you." She pressed another kiss into Bernie's hair.

"Now, how about I go and cook dinner, then we can look at those brochures for the wedding, see if we can make some choices before we get them tomorrow, yeh?" Bernie said, extracting herself from Serena's arms and climbing off her lap.

"I'm just going to check my emails, if that's okay? Then I'll join you in the kitchen."

"Don't be long though, eh?" Leaning forward she placed a gentle kiss on Serena's cheek before heading towards the kitchen.

Slipping on her apron Bernie rooted through the fridge, glancing at the available ingredients for her to prepare dinner. Whilst cooking had never been her strong point, and Serena's culinary skills vastly outweighed her own, she still ensured she took a fair share of the workload in the kitchen. A glance at the schedule on the wall told her she would only need to prepare dinner for herself and Serena, large letters under Charlotte's name declaring her simply out. Deciding on a chilli prawn and spinach linguine Bernie set to work.

Serena was startled from her computer by a long string on expletives coming from the kitchen. "Are you okay?" she shouted out, rising from her chair and walking towards the noise. She was greeted with Bernie stood flapping her hand about in the air. "What have you done?"

"Caught my hand on the edge of the pan. It'll be alright." She said, inspecting the outer edge of her left hand. Finding her wrist caught in Serena's hand she tried to pull away. "Honestly it's alright."

Serena raised her eyebrows, inspecting the fiery red skin that stretched the length of Bernie's hand and into her palm. "I don't think so." Pulling her toward the sink Bernie allowed her hand to be placed under cool running water, wincing initially at the coldness against the burning skin. "Keep that there until I tell you, you can remove it." Pecking her cheek, she moved over to the cooker, stirring the pan and turning it down to gently simmer. "Even if you have caused yourself a mischief, dinner smells delicious darling. Thank you for cooking… more emails than I expected."

Bernie pulled her hand out from under the water, inspecting it and screwing up her nose. "Looks alright, nothing to worry about."

"Get that back under that water, you." Serena said, moving back towards her and forcing her hand under the flow from the faucet once more. "As a surgeon you should know you need to look after your hands. And they are very precious to me." Raising her eyebrow and winking she sauntered back to the cooker, leaving Bernie moaning by the sink.

Later that evening, having had a delicious meal together and still savouring the bottle of wine between them Serena sat with her feet in Bernie's lap on the sofa. Both women were leafing through the wedding brochure for Cardington Abbey. Bernie being unable to contain her laughter as Serena got exceptionally animated at the thought of Christmas themed centrepieces on the tables. It was at the suggestion of a Christmas jumper themed dress code that Bernie rolled her eyes and realised she'd been pulling her leg for the past ten minutes. "I would like a Christmas tree decorated in our colour scheme in the ceremony room but beyond that, I'm not going to force more seasonal cheer on the Grinch."

"Oi! I am not the Grinch!" Bernie protested, tickling Serena's feet as pay back. Once they'd settled back down again, she pointed to the Christmas food menu in the brochure. "I'd quite like a traditional Christmas dinner for our wedding breakfast if you'd be happy with that. Maybe draw the line at crackers and paper hats, but you can't go wrong with Christmas dinner. If we're having a Christmas wedding, we may as well do it properly." Unsurprisingly Serena agreed.

Before the evening was out, the two of them had agreed on several more of the details for the wedding. They'd had a long discussion about their choice of outfit for the day, both agreeing Charlotte should shop with them separately to ensure their outfits wouldn't clash whilst they could keep them a surprise for one another.


	25. Chapter 25

Pulling up outside the address she had been given a smile played on Bernie's lips. The drive down from Holby to the Cornish coast had been fairly painless, her enjoying the lengthy straight stretch of road where she could happily cruise along, even if it meant on multiple occasions she'd needed to slow down to stop herself breaking the speed limit. When her and Serena had gone their separate ways from Cardington Hall they had treated it as if she was just off to work. Not allowing the fact they wouldn't be together for the next 72 hours to creep into the goodbye. The three nights she'd be away from Serena being balanced out with the four they were spending together at the end of the week meaning neither of them would feel the separation too much.

Glancing around she was surprised by the property in front of her. She'd thought she was going to be turning up to grotty hospital accommodation which would be her home for the next few weeks. However, she found herself outside a modern beach front house. Clicking the car locked behind her she removed the keys to the property from her back pocket and walked up to the oak front door.

"This has got Serena written all over it." She murmured to herself, placing her car keys on the telephone table in the hall, her already on her way to explore the house further. Immediately she found herself in a large open planned living space, large bi-fold doors opening out onto a terrace that overlooked the ocean. Taking her phone out she dialled Serena's direct dial number at the hospital.

"Good afternoon, Serena Campbell speaking." The glorious tones coming down the phone made Bernie smile, she'd told Serena on many occasions she would happily lay back and listen to her read the phone book, the voice of her fiancée bringing an eminent degree of calm to her.

"Good afternoon, Ms Campbell. Ms Wolfe here." She answered, an obvious note of jollity in her voice.

Pushing herself back from the desk, Serena leant back in her chair, planning to allow herself a few minutes away from the latest budget report to enjoy this conversation with Bernie. "Hello you. Did you get there okay?"

"I did." She once again looked around the room, her brow furrowing as she explored the switches on a control panel on the wall. Each one having a different effect on the lighting or windows in the room. "And I might not come back…" She paused for a beat. "Afterall someone has ensured I'm being put up in the swankiest of accommodation, so I might never want to leave."

Serena laughed down the phone, knowing her fiancée well enough to know she was pulling her leg. "Yes, well, I needed to make sure my very best consultant was comfortable on her secondment, and I'd also heart her wife to be has very high standards regarding where she is willing to stay."

"Oh, I see, so this was more for her benefit than mine?" Bernie spoke, her padding up the stairs to explore the bedroom and bathroom. Much like downstairs it was beautifully decorated, in calming whites and blues. She stood leaning against the door frame as she took in the huge bed that had views of the ocean. "Hmmm, I think she'll rather like the view from the bed."

"She'll be more concerned about the person in the bed than the view." Serena responded dryly. Bernie's tongue unconsciously bit her bottom lip, her mind flitting to images of Serena sprawled across the crisp white cotton sheets. "I know you're biting your lip, Berenice." A honk of laughter was her only response. "You like it though? Michael said it wasn't too far from the hospital either, so your commute will be short."

"It's really lovely Serena," Bernie perched herself on the bed, immediately flicking off her shoes and bringing her feet up underneath her on the bed. "I can't wait to see you here in," she glanced to the clock checking the time. "Eighty hours, give or take a few for delays."

"Me too, darling." Serena straightened herself out when a knock came at the door of her office. A shout of come in alerting Bernie to the fact their conversation was about to end. "Sorry, I'm going to have to go. I'll ring you later tonight though." Catching sight of Ric entering her office she settled slightly, not feeling self-conscious in expressing her love for Bernie in front of him. "I love you. Take care."

"Yeh. Speak to you later. I love you too." The click at the end of the line signalled Serena replacing the phone on the receiver. "Right Wolfe. Get to it." Heaving herself off the bed she made her way down to the car, bringing in her belongings and setting to unpacking them. She knew if she didn't do it now she would still not have achieved the task when Serena arrived. She could already hear the chastisement of Serena about her living out of a suitcase, so she wanted to avoid that at all costs.

Back in Holby Ric still occupied the seat opposite Serena's in offices. "I hear William Hobbins is visiting for the next 48 hours." Serena sighed and nodded, the longest serving members of the board being a lecherous creature with a far too higher opinion of himself according to Serena.

"And aren't I the lucky one getting to entertain him. The trust has gone as far as to put me up in the same hotel as him for the night, so I can wine and dine him. Aren't I the lucky one?" Pausing she thought for a moment. "You could come with me… strength in numbers and all that."

"Nice try. He's all yours." Ric pushed across the file he'd walked in with. "Anyway, the reason I'm here." He continued, the conversation diverting back to the clinical work he'd been doing recently and the breakthrough he thought he was ready to publish.

Serena's evening had started pleasant enough, but as it had drawn on and the alcohol had started to flow William had become more and more over familiar with her. Him seemingly unable to keep his hands to himself. Finding herself in the hotel bar with him she sipped on a small glass of Shiraz, deciding to keep a level head herself was the best was to deal with the man in front of her. "It's a real pleasure having you around again Serena… Holby has never been in better shape. I think I speak for the whole board in saying that, not just myself." His eyes raked down over Serena's face, coming to rest on her cleavage.

"I'm flattered, William… but it is not all down to me." She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, trying to discreetly bring the two sides of her blouse together when she noticed where his eyes had fallen.

"Oh, don't be so modest." Feeling a hand sliding up her thigh, Serena's breath caught in her throat. "The place wasn't the same without you." Quickly pushing his hand away Serena flinched away.

"Well, um, thank you… for this evening. But I really must retire… long day tomorrow." With that she stood up, not giving a second glance to him. Reaching the lift, she tapped her foot nervously on the floor, her fingers swirling her room key around in her grasp. Chancing a glance behind her she saw nothing but an empty reception area, causing her to let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

As the lift doors were about the close and carry her to her fifth-floor room, William slipped into the lift. A leering smile playing on his lips

"You can't flirt with me all evening and then leave me hanging." Pushing the stop button on the lift, William pulled her towards him, his lips smacking harshly against her own whilst he backed her into the wall.

Momentarily frozen in shock Serena stared wide eyed at him before her fight reaction kicked in. "No!" she exclaimed harshly, fighting herself free from his grasp, thrusting her hands forward to propel him backwards. "How dare you!" Anger took hold as she slammed her hand against the button to restart the lift. Strings of expletives leaving her mouth whilst digging her nails deeply into her palms to prevent her lashing out violently and taking the smug look off his face.

When the lift doors opened he stepped out, muttered that it was her loss before smirking at her and walking away. Pressing the button for the ground floor her whole body sunk back against the lift, her legs giving way beneath her, her fingers rising to her lips as she choked out a sob.


	26. Chapter 26

"I… need… Bernie." She managed to stutter out between sniffs and sobs, her whole body still shaking violently, after reliving her ordeal.

"Okay, is Bernie in your room upstairs? I can call him for you." asked the young woman who was currently taking care of Serena whilst the hotel manager waited for the police to arrive. When the lift doors had opened in the reception area Serena had been found by a couple who'd helped her and alerted the hotel staff. Within minutes she had been escorted to an office where she was being looked after. The hotel manager currently reviewing CCTV footage with the police next door.

"No… she's…" Clutching the blanket tighter around herself she sniffed loudly before looking at the woman before her.

Catching the change in pronoun even through the sobs the woman smiled reassuringly. "So, Bernie isn't here… but I can ring her. Do you have her number?" A small nod came in response, a pen and paper soon in her hands so she could shakily write out the number for the woman whose name she couldn't remember to call.

The phone rang for a few moments before Serena heard a familiar click at the end of the line and Bernie's questioning hello, clearly the number having not been recognised on her phone. "Good evening, this is Laura calling from the Bridgford Hotel, is this Bernie? I have a Ms Serena Campbell here and she's asking for her."

Bernie laughed softly at the end of the phone, Serena had text her earlier in the evening and told her she'd be wining and dining a member of the board, so naturally she assumed Serena had consumed a little too much Shiraz herself and was now drunkenly pining in the hotel reception. "Good evening, yes this is Bernie Wolfe. I suppose I'll take her call." There was a note of jollity in her voice, a small honk of laughter suppressed in her throat.

"I'll pass you over." Carefully Laura reached out the phone to Serena. "It's Bernie." Her words were calm and reassuring, her doing her best to reassure the older woman.

Clasping the phone tightly, still wrapped in a blanket Serena closed her eyes, sobs once more taking her breath away as the soothing tones of Bernie's voice filled her ears. "Serena, darling?" Panic suddenly was very evident in Bernie's voice, the jovial tone long forgotten as she heard Serena's cries. "Darling… you're worrying me. I need you to take deep breaths for me please. Breath with me." Over exaggerating her own breathing, Bernie desperately tried to calm the woman at the end of the phone, her needing Serena calm enough to explain why she was in this state.

Once her breathing had levelled, in a very small voice Serena had told her what had happened. Bernie instantly despising the distance between them when Serena needed her, her mind worked over time to formulate a plan of how to get to be with her in the fastest time. "I'm not hanging up on you, okay? I just need to get a number from my phone and use the land line. I'm still here." She reassured "I'm going to phone Ric… see if he can help me with something."

"Okay…" Responded Serena's voice, far smaller than Bernie was used to. Serena listened intently to what Bernie was doing at the end of the phone.

"Ric, it's Bernie… hi… I need you to do something for me." Picking up her mobile once more she spoke directly to Serena. "I'm still here, darling. No, I don't mean you Ric, hold on I'm just speaking to Serena. I'm going to speak to Ric now, I won't hang up but I'm stepping away from the phone." A hummed response came from Serena, the phone still pressed tightly to her ear even though she knew Bernie wouldn't be on the other end for a few minutes.

Stepping onto the terrace Bernie ran a hand through her hair, sighing heavily before continuing her conversation with Ric. "Sorry… I just needed to reassure Serena."

"Bernie, what's wrong? You sound worried, and Serena isn't the kind of woman who needs reassuring, well unless she is paralytic. But she's with William what's his name from the board tonight so she won't have got drunk."

"Yes, well…" Going on to explain exactly what had happened that evening she leant against the railing. "Ric, I need to be with her… I couldn't think of who else to ask…"

"What do you need me to do?" Came the immediate response.

"Can you drive her down to Exeter? It's about half way between our two locations? I'll drive from here and meet you both… it's the fastest way I can think of getting her into my arms." Before meeting Serena, she hadn't thought it possible for someone to physically ache because their arms weren't wrapped around another person. But tonight, her arms were aching, desperate to provide comfort to the woman she loves.

"Of course. I'll get in the car now… she's at the Bridgford, isn't she?"

"Yeh… thank you… and Ric… be gentle with her… she's really shaken."

"I will, I'll see you as soon as I can." As the phone line went dead Bernie ran back to her mobile, picking it up she could still hear Serena's snuffles at the end of the line, but now she could hear the voices she didn't recognise too. "Darling, I'm back."

"Bernie…" she breathed out slowly. "I could really use a hug from you right now." She sniffed loudly.

"I know." Bernie spoke softly, her voice full of sadness that she wasn't immediately able to be there.

"Sorry." It was evident Serena was calmer now, although still shaken. "I don't mean to sound needy. The police said with my statement and the CCTV they've had enough evidence to arrest him. They are going to take me home in a bit."

"No." Bernie spoke quickly, her voice far more commanding than she'd intended. "Sorry… don't get them to take you home. Ric's on his way." Pausing for a moment she glanced around the room deciding what she would need. "He is going to drive you down to Exeter from the hotel, I'm driving up from here."

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes, yes I do. I need you safely wrapped in my arms." Bernie scrubbed at her face. "I need to be with you."

Serena felt tears tumble once more from her eyes, lifting her hand she swept them away. "Thank you." She said quietly. "Thank you for just knowing what I need."

"Always."

Two hours later Bernie sat outside the small Travelodge she had booked for the night. During her drive she had decided holding Serena was the priority for that evening rather than driving them back to her accommodation in Cornwall. She'd already emailed the CEO of her new hospital informing them due to unforeseen family circumstances she would not be reporting for duty at the hospital until the later in the week, not giving a specific time frame for her arrival. Looking up to the sky she focused on spotting different constellations, although the light pollution of the street lamps meant not many stars were visible. For a moment she was taken back to the long nights she'd spent in the middle east, gazing up at the stars whilst sat back on the warm desert sands. She didn't miss all aspects of her old life, but sometimes, she longed for the silence a night in the desert brought.

The crunch of tires across the gravel car park brought her out of her own thoughts, her eyes squinting in the blinding beam of the headlights. She could tell it was Ric's car though, the black Mercedes his latest mid life crisis. Standing up right she moved towards the car, opening Serena's door as soon as the vehicle had come to a halt.

Without a second thought Serena wrapped herself around Bernie, her head burying itself in the crook of her partner's neck. Bernie's arms came to rest around Serena, one soothing her upper back and the other rested across her hips. "I love you so much." She whispered quietly into her hair.

Lifting her head up Serena's watery eyes met Bernie's. "I love you too." Bernie faltered for a moment, normally she would lean in and brush her lips against Serena's, but she wasn't sure if that would be something she'd currently feel comfortable with. In the end it was Serena who closed the gap between them, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss.

Ric coughed gently, him standing a little awkwardly the other side of the car. Looking across at him, Bernie spoke, not letting go of Serena as she addressed him. "Thank you for driving her down, Ric. We're both very lucky to have a friend as good as you."

"Don't mention it." He smiled at the two women, then checked his watch. "I'm going to get back on the road again. They'll be lots to sort at the hospital in the morning." Reaching into the boot of his car he pulled out Serena's overnight bag, moving to place it by their feet. "I don't want you to even think about the hospital, Serena. I can steady the ship until you return with Bernie in a few weeks." Serena furrowed her brow questioningly. "It'll be confirmed officially tomorrow, but you won't be expected back at Holby until Bernie is."

"Thank you, Ric." Serena spoke, tentatively releasing herself from Bernie's arms to give her friend a hug. When they'd hugged, Ric embraced Bernie before leaving the two women alone. The roar of his engine fading into the distance as he drove away.

"Where have you parked?" Serena asked, her body now having returned to being wrapped around Bernie's.

"Over there." Bernie gestured, quickly dipping down to pick up the bag by her feet. "But I've booked us a room here for the night. I'll drive us back to Cornwall in the morning." She said whilst guiding Serena carefully towards the hotel entrance.

Sitting herself on the hotel bed beside Bernie, Serena breathed out a long sigh. "I feel so bloody foolish. I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Hey…you have nothing to be sorry for. I don't want to hear you apologise for what that horrendous man did. You did nothing wrong."

Serena took Bernie's hands in her own, holding on to them tightly, her eyes fixed on them, so she couldn't meet Bernie's gaze. "He seemed to think I'd led him on. I thought about it all the way here in the car. Maybe I gave him the wrong signals…"

"Don't do that to yourself Serena, don't let him get into your head like that. It'll eat you up inside… trust me…" almost letting the words I should know slip from her lips she pressed her lips together, then continued. "You were not the one at fault tonight. You need to remember that."

"Thank you." Serena said quietly, the acknowledgement from Bernie that she was not in the wrong doing a lot to help her. Glancing to the clock she sighed seeing how late it was. "We should try and sleep, it's been such a long day and you've done so much driving."

Bernie couldn't disagree, she'd now been up for best part of 20 hours and whilst that normally wouldn't present her with a problem the heightened emotions of the day had taken their toll on her. After they'd both gotten ready for bed, Bernie laid back in the bed and opened her arms for Serena. The greying brunette snuggling herself into the crook of the blonde's arm and pulling the duvet tightly around them. Whispered goodnights passed between the two of them along with tender kisses before they both closed their eyes. Serena feeling safe and settled in Bernie's strong arms, whilst Bernie's arms no longer ached now they held Serena close.


	27. Chapter 27

"Hi, I'm back." Bernie called out, kicking off her shoes and shrugging off her coat in the hall. Walking through the door in front of her she headed straight into the living area. She'd been working at St Helier's for a few days now and was happily settling into life in Cornwall, it was of course being made easier by the fact Serena was here with her. At the hospital she'd quickly earnt the respect of all the staff and now was affectionately known as 'The Major' by all her staff, although she had initially discouraged the use of her formal title, she now was getting used to it and it brought a smile to her face each time it was used. Catching sight of Serena in front of the breakfast bar she allowed a smile to cross her lips. She could see that the surface in front of the greying brunette was littered with various wedding paraphernalia, clearly, she'd spent the day organising things again. Opening her mouth to ask how her day had been she was silenced before a sound had come out by a hand being waved to hush her. Walking up behind her fiancée she slipped her arms around her waist and tenderly kissed her cheek, leaving her chin resting on the other woman's shoulder, allowing her to finish her conversation.

"Yes, but I'd like red roses for my bouquet." Serena insisted, snuggling back into Bernie's arms. "Rhinestones? Absolutely not. I'm not twelve." Serena ran her finger over the image in front of her of a stunning hand tied red rose bouquet mixed with seasonal greenery, gesturing to the matching button hole beside it. "I am going to need… can you hold on for one moment, please." Placing her hand over the receiver she turned her head up to Bernie. "Definitely set on a button hole… I can't persuade you to have a bouquet?" They'd had the conversation before, but Serena wanted to be sure. She knew Bernie planned on opting for a suit for the wedding and she couldn't deny that the thought of Bernie in tight fitted suit trousers sent shivers down her spine, her backside looking perfect in them, but even in a suit she could carry a bouquet.

"Buttonhole please. I need to keep my hands free for keeping my wife close." To illustrate her point, she wrapped her arms around Serena's middle even tighter and pulled her closer for a few seconds, before running her fingers up into her hair and gently massaging her scalp.

"Okay." Groaning a little at Bernie's actions, shudders of pleasure running up her spine she tried to turn her attention back to the phone. "Hello, sorry I was confirming with my fiancée her requirements. I'm definitely going to need a button hole for her that matches the bouquet." She listened carefully to the woman on the other end of the line, her body keening back into Bernie's touch. "Yes, thank you. The venue will be in touch to confirm the rest of the flower order. Goodbye." Clicking the phone off, she let out a long breath. "You are very distracting Ms Wolfe."

"Sorry." Bernie purred, her fingers working down to Serena's shoulders, releasing the knots of tension she found there. "I thought we'd go out for dinner tonight. May as well make the most of trying out all the wonderful Cornish restaurants whilst we're here."

Throughout the following week Serena busied herself with finalising the details of the wedding. From organising the menu choices with the caterer, confirming her dress shopping date with Charlotte to picking favours, she'd done it all. The last big job on her list had been confirming what Jason and Greta would be doing on the day. She'd spent quite some time on the telephone to Jason before he had agreed to be an usher, but then had told her Greta would pick out outfits for herself and Gwenivere. Jason declaring little Gwen too young to be part of the bridal party, his reasoning being that she would be too young to be able to offer any support to either of the bride's so Jason deemed it pointless her being a bridesmaid or flower girl. Serena had chuckled to herself after she'd put the phone down and once again when she'd relayed the conversation to Bernie later that evening. Immediately Bernie pointing out that she could see Jason's logic, her always managing to see things from the young man's perspective, often far better than Serena could.

Bernie couldn't help but be exceptionally thankful for all the time Serena was putting into planning the wedding. She herself had had been less than enthusiastic when it came to the finer details of planning, even though she was excited for the big day. True to herself, Bernie had been more excited to plan the honeymoon, which so far, she'd managed to keep a secret from Serena, her knowing nothing beyond the dates they would be flying in and out of the country on.

After a long and exhausting week, the pair were curled into each other on the sofa, something on the television creating a background hum. Occasionally Bernie would shift and nuzzle her head more into Serena's neck, pecking it with soft kisses before settling down once more. At home she really was a far cry from the in control Major she was showing herself to be on the wards at the moment. Serena loved the soft side of Bernie that she and the children were only privileged to see. No one would have suspected that at home night the Major was like a soft teddy bear and liked to be cuddled as she slept.

Bringing her hand up into Bernie's hair, Serena lazily twirled a curl around her finger. "Remember I'm dress shopping with Charlotte tomorrow, so I won't be here when you get home." Serena had been thankful to find a date that both her and Charlotte were available, so she could book her wedding dress appointment. When she'd married before it had been a hurried affair, she'd chosen a dress in a department store and never had the experience of going wedding boutique to pick out her dress, that meant this time she intended to make to most of it.

"About that, I now have the day off, so," Bernie spoke softly, shifting herself so she could look at Serena, her fingers tracing patterns across her fiancées stomach. "I thought I could come with you. Maybe help with the dress shopping."

Serena's eyes went wide, her head tilting to the side and her pulling a puzzled expression at Bernie. "You thought you'd come and help choose my wedding dress?" her tone soft but the underlying indignation was obvious to Bernie.

She nodded against Serena's shoulder. "Yeh… well… I just…" The expression she was seeing on the brunette's face and her tone of voice knocked the wind out of her sails, her quickly realising she wasn't actually going to be welcome tomorrow.

"I don't think so darling." Serena said as nicely as she could. Her response being softer than the hard no she had wanted to shout the moment Bernie has mentioned coming, but she'd held it in, not wanting to upset the blonde.

"Okay." Bernie mumbled very quietly, her shrinking back down into the sofa and curling her head into Serena's chest, hiding the emotion that was becoming evident in her eyes. She'd had this on her mind for a couple of days, making sure she organised the time off when Serena had told her the plans. Any free time she'd found at the hospital had been spent researching different dress designs she thought would suit her future wife, and those that would match their Christmas theme. She had just wanted to be helpful, with the parts of the wedding she was getting more excited about.

"Bernie." Serena whispered, her hands lacing once against into her golden locks, "Look at me." She knew her well enough to know the blonde had buried her head to hide her emotions, but it hadn't worked, she could still tell the blonde was hurt. When she didn't move her head, she bent her own head and placed a gentle, loving kiss to the top of Bernie's. "I would like the first time you see my wedding dress to be across that hall when we walk towards each other to get married. It's important to me that the first time you see me in my dress is on our wedding day. You understand, don't you?" Bernie nodded gently, lifting her head up and kissing her future wife's lips softly. "It doesn't mean you can't come at all tomorrow though, but you'll have to occupy yourself whilst I'm at the appointment with Charlotte."

"I'd like to come still, it'll be nice to see Lottie." Serena nodded, curling her arms around Bernie tighter. "I could ring the tailors in the morning, see if they can fit me in rather than driving back up next weekend as well." Bernie had used a tailor in Exeter before when she'd temporarily had a posting at the Wyvern Barracks some years ago, the tailor altering her dress uniform in such a way it fitted like a glove. "And if I can't see you, you can't see me. I'll try and get the appointment at the same time as…" cutting off her own sentence with a long yawn, she screwed up her nose, mumbling an apology.

"Come on you. Clearly it's time for bed." Shifting them both, Serena held out her hand, leading Bernie to the bedroom, neither of them particularly awake after a long week of working and wedding planning.


	28. Chapter 28

The weeks in Cornwall had passed them both by a in whirlwind and before they knew it the time to return to Holby was almost upon them. Serena had enjoyed life on the Cornish coast, initially she'd been concerned that without work she would be unable to fill her days, the thought of being a nuisance to Bernie troubling her. But she'd found herself getting involved in a local sewing group, meeting new friends and carving out a busy social life for herself in the small town and if she were honest, she was going to miss it all when they arrived back in Holby.

The business of her schedule had kept her mind occupied, it had stopped her overthinking about the ongoing investigations into her would be attacker. It was only a couple of weeks after her attack that the CPS had been in touch, them soon discovering she was not the only person to have had an unfortunate encounter with William Hobbins. Her initial hopes of the case having been put to bed prior to the wedding were dashed when the other women came forward. The case now going beyond just her and leading to a full-blown investigation. As it was, the trial was set to take place in the new year. Coming to terms with what happened hadn't been easy for Serena, her mind continually playing the what ifs at her, but throughout it all, Bernie had stood stoically at her side. She'd been her rock, her support when the nights had brought roaming hands to plague her dreams, when she felt someone brush too closely in a supermarket. It was Bernie who held her hand as police interviewed her more times than she could remember.

When the day came to drive back home, packing their many belongings into the minute boot of Bernie's car proved more than a little challenging. It had occurred to neither of them that they'd brought their belongings down separately and should have therefore switched cars to the more sensible sized car Serena drove in order to fit everything in to go home. None the less, with some military style packing, being just managed to close the boot. She looked longingly across the drive at the surf board she'd treated herself to one weekend. "That's not going to fit, is it?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"No darling," Serena stepped forward and rubbed her upper arm. "There's no decent waves near Holby anyway. Not that I haven't _loved_ seeing you in your wetsuit… I do hope that's fitted in." Quirking her eyebrow, she pecked Bernie's cheek. The honk of Bernie's laugh set off her own laughter.

Once recovered Bernie breathed out, turning to Serena and brushing her palm softly against her cheek, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeh. Let's go home." Her nose brushing against Bernie's as she leaned in for a kiss. "You going to let me drive?"

"Ha! Nice try." Jangling the keys on her finger Bernie snapped them into her hands and headed for the driver's door. "Give Lottie a ring will you, let her know we're leaving." With a quick nod, and a final glance at their seaside hideaway Serena got into the car, her fingers nimbly dialling the youngest Wolfe's number.

The drive took far longer than anticipated, a crash outside of Exeter slowing them to a near standstill for what felt like hours. But when they pushed open the front door to their leafy detached the smell of freshly brewed coffee and homemade cakes greeted them. Charlotte's excited screech getting louder as she bounded towards the door, her arms flung wide to greet both her mums. "It's so lovely to have you both home," she said, her voice conveying the truth in the statement, her arms tightly embracing Serena and then Bernie. "There is fresh coffee in the pot. I may have tracked you via your phone Mum to work out when you'd be here, sorry!" She pulled a slight grimace and shrugged her shoulders. Serena laughed, bringing her arm back around her step daughter's shoulders.

"You can do that?" she asked, leading Charlotte towards the kitchen. "You'll have to show me how… then I can check up on your mother," Serena gave an over exaggerated wink over her shoulder.

"Oi!" Bernie's brow furrowed, pushing the door shut behind herself, she quickly followed the pair into the kitchen. "I wish I'd know how to do that when you and your brother were teenagers. I was more anxious at home wondering where you both were… waiting for you to get in from a night out than I was in an active warzone."

"Ah but mother… we'd have been sensible enough to disable it on our phones. Unlike you." Charlotte laughed heartily, the slightest hint of her mother's goose honk laugh audible in her own loud barks of laughter. Breezing over to the percolator she expertly poured two steaming mugs of coffee exactly how the women liked them. Although Serena professed she just liked coffee strong and hot, Charlotte had learned there was more to her tastes than that. As for her mother's coffee, well she took it exactly like she did, her own coffee tastes stemming from the steaming mugs they would enjoy on a Sunday morning in her teenage years.

"Thank you Lots." Serena said when handed her mug, the shortened version of the young woman's name having become a term of endearment only she used. Charlotte now affectionately referring to her as Rena, a nickname not many would get away with, but she found from the young woman it warmed her heart.

Lifting her own mug from the work surface, Bernie felt her heart swell with love. She didn't think she would ever get used to seeing her children so at ease with her partner, her life now being a far cry from the sad lonely existence that she saw stretched before her when she divorced Marcus. Breaking herself from her thoughts she moved across the kitchen, placing a kiss on each of the women's temples. Shrugging an answer of just because when she found herself on the receiving end of a questioning look from Serena.

Getting back into the rhythm of life in Holby had taken some doing for both women. The hospital felt like it had changed irrevocably in their absence, a new board in place running the show. Serena had stepped back into some duties as CEO even though they'd tried to insist she remained off until the New Year like had been planned. But she had always been one for getting back in the saddle when she felt ready. Bernie's trauma team had seen an influx of F1s in her absence, and whilst most were of a decent calibre there were a couple who were beginning to grate on her somewhat. Especially a plucky blonde who seemed to have taken to following her around like a lost puppy.

It was a couple of weeks after they'd returned home when in the darkness of the night, Serena found herself awake. Her mind busy with thoughts when it dawned on her the significance of the night. They'd been busy the past few days, final preparations for the wedding finally completed, but when they'd fallen into bed exhausted that night what was occurring to her now had not been given a second thought. Drawing patterns across the cotton of Bernie's sleep shirt, she tried to ascertain if the blonde was deeply asleep, the normal pattern of her breathing giving some indication she was not. "Bernie…" she quietly whispered in to the night.

"Mmm." Came the quiet hummed response, although she was far from awake, she instinctively turned to snuggle into her lover and pull her closer.

"I love you," her words were almost silent, whispered into the small space between them before she leant forward and caused their lips to meet.

"I love you too." Bernie whispered back, before squinting one eye open to look at the clock. "But what's brought this on at 3am? Hmmm." Dancing her fingers up the back of Serena's pyjama top she felt the warm flesh against her hands, the feel of skin on skin contact warming her whole body.

"I woke up… and realised this is our last night sleeping together before we're married." Lifting her hand, she gently began to stroke Bernie's cheek. "After tonight, when I sleep with you, you'll be my wife. And…" feeling emotion bubble up in her throat she leant in for another quick kiss. "And well, I just wanted to tell you I loved you."

The soft rumbling moan that came from Bernie's lips at that moment may have been the cutest thing Serena had ever heard and even though there was barely a gap between them she swiftly pulled herself completely flush against Bernie. The pair soon falling back into a peaceful slumber, their bodies entwined. Safe in the knowledge that it less than 48 hours they would be wife and wife.


	29. Chapter 29

**This has been the hardest chapter of this fic to write, because my muse has flown. I've battled through though to bring this to a conclusion. For now, this will be the final chapter. I may come back to this at some point. But for now, thank you for reading.**

* * *

When the day of the wedding finally arrived, Bernie was a flurry of nerves. On the day of her first wedding she remembered feeling sick with dread, a life of hiding her true self stretched out before her.

 _Staring at herself in the mirror she swallowed hard, blinking away the tears that filled her eyes. She couldn't cry. This was meant to be the happiest day of her life. That's what everyone said to her. Why then did she feel like her life was over? Glancing at the window she calculated the ease in which she could run away, start a new life away from the oppression of a family expecting her to have a husband and children. She allowed herself to wonder what life would be like if only she were brave enough. But then a gentle knock on the bathroom door, and the soft words of her father asking if she were ready broke her from her day dreams. She loved her father too much to break his heart, so sniffing back her tears and putting on a stiff upper lip she opened the door uttering the words, "I'm ready, Dad."_

Today though, the jittering in her stomach was of excitement. For she knew in a few short hours she would be able to call the woman she could not imagine her life without her wife. She'd barely slept, the disconcerting coldness in the bed where Serena's warmth would normally radiate from had unsettled her. If it had been up to her, she'd have spent the night with Serena wrapped in her arms, but her wife to be had insisted they spend the night apart, as was tradition. She'd been tempted to call Serena that morning, desperately wanting to hear her voice but she hadn't, settling for a short text message exclaiming her love and excitement that by the end of the day they'd be married.

The morning passed in a flurry of preparations, Cameron appearing to be with his mother whilst Charlotte spent the morning with Serena. Before she knew it, it was 2pm and she was arriving at the hotel ready to for the ceremony. Neither herself or Serena were greeting the guests, both deciding to allow Cameron, Charlotte and Jason to do that for them whilst they waited nervously in separate rooms.

"You look beautiful, Rena." Charlotte declared when Serena turned to face her for the first time. "Mum isn't going to know what to do with herself." Laughing she leant forward and delicately kissed her step mother's cheek.

"Thank you, darling girl. You look beautiful too." Fiddling nervously with her pendant, she glanced back in the mirror to check her makeup. "You go now and see her. Tell her I love her and can't wait to see her." Nodding Charlotte left the room, leaving Serena to her own thoughts. She took a moment to reflect on how different it felt today than it did all those years ago when she married Edward. For starters she hoped that Bernie wasn't going to be chatting up the musicians at the reception like her loathsome ex husband had. Deep down though, she knew she wouldn't for Bernie only had eyes for her.

Time came for them both to step out into the ceremony hall and the moment they laid eyes on each other tears rushed into their eyes. Neither able to believe how breathtakingly beautiful the other looked. The soft chords of the string quartet played as they moved towards each other, flanked by their family.

The ceremony was simple, a declaration of their love for one another. Neither woman taking her eyes off the other for even a moment. The whole room filled with joyous cheers from their family and friends at the moment they were announced as wife and wife and the pairs lips collided in a gentle tender kiss. They were the picture of true love.

After the official photographs were over, Bernie slipped her hand into Serena's and quietly uttered. "Come on Mrs Wolfe, we have somewhere to go." Serena looked up from her bouquet, nodding her head with a soft smile.

"We do." She quietly whispered in response, allowing herself to be led outside to where Bernie's car awaited them.

They drove away from the hotel in a comfortable silence, Bernie glancing occasionally over to catch glimpses of her new wife. When they pulled up in a deserted car park the sun was beginning to set in the sky, the sunset casting soft pink hues across the landscape. Reaching across, Bernie squeezed Serena's knee. "Okay?" she asked simply. Gaining a nod in response she climbed from the car and walked around to open Serena's door, a hand reached out to help her up.

Entwining their fingers, they held each other close as they made their way along the winding pathway. The creaking of the gate and rustling of trees the only sounds permeating the silence between them. Together they walked beyond the gate, Serena still clutching the bouquet of red roses tightly in her hand, Bernie's thumb brushing comfortingly against hers.

Reaching their destination, Serena's breath caught, the bubble of emotion rising in her throat beginning to feel like it was choking her. Coming to her daughter's final resting place never got any easier, no matter how much time passed. "Shhh. It's okay." Bernie whispered reassuringly to her. In the past few weeks she'd spent a lot of time comforting Serena, allowing her to cry over Elinor and reassuring her that it was still okay to grief over her untimely death. "I've got you." Wrapping her arms tightly around her wife, Bernie pressed a gentle kiss to her hair. It didn't take many seconds for Serena to melt into her embrace, feeling the warmth of Bernie's love giving her strength.

After a few moments Serena started to speak, she spoke of little details from the wedding that she thought her daughter would have appreciated, she spoke of her love for Bernie and about her excitement for the future. Leaning down she placed her bouquet at the foot of her daughter's headstone, before straightening up and snuggling back into Bernie's shoulder. "I still miss her every day," she sniffed, "But, you being here makes it bearable. I know I can face every day because I've got you."

Squeezing her wife tightly in her arms, Bernie placed a delicate kiss on Serena's lips. "I'll always be here. No matter what." Her words immediately calmed Serena, for she knew, Bernie was right. She would always be there loving her until the end of time.


End file.
